Cockney Wanker

Cockney Wanker is a character from Viz based on a stereotype of the male Cockney. He is a thief, conman and charlatan who speaks in impenetrable rhyming slang and spends his days drinking, selling stolen or unworkable goods to passers-by on the streets and being violent to his wife. He wears lots of cheap gold jewellery or Argos bling and East End gangster dark glasses, and is often seen smoking a cigar. Wanker's speciality is the buying and selling of cars, often buying one, selling it back to the same person at the same price and then waving his wad of cash declaring the transaction to have been "a nice little earner".

He is a lifelong racist complaining about "Sooties" yet showing reverence for Frank Bruno; and a royalist, especially supporting the Queen Mother: "Ninety Free she is. Ninety Free. Wan the bladdy war for us."

His appearance is based on that of a combination of Mike Reid's character Frank Butcher from EastEnders with perhaps some David Jason's "Del Trotter" character from the sitcom Only Fools and Horses, though the other characters in the strip can be seen to be similar to EastEnders characters, e.g. Shirl, his wife (Kathy Beale) and Lou, Shirl's mother (Lou Beale).

Occasionally, Wanker's friends make an appearance in his strips. They also have offensive nicknames, for instance, Bastard, Cant and Shirl's brother, Arsehole, who once made a cameo when he asked Wanker to look after his son, Little Tosspot.

His name, as it contains an obscenity, is "spoonerised" whenever featured on the front page of an issue of Viz, as it would be easily read by children who are otherwise not entitled to buy the magazine. Hence he becomes "Wockney Canker".