List of minor Blackadder characters


List of minor Blackadder characters

Contents

Lord Angus

(Valentine Dyall) ("Witchsmeller Pursuivant")

Anon

(Mark Arden) A guard at the Royal Palace, along with Soft. ("Witchsmeller Pursuivant", "The Black Seal")

Tally Applebottom

(Jane Freeman) A peasant with an apparent inability to stop laughing madly, she very nearly committed bigamy with Prince Edmund. ("The Queen of Spain's Beard")

Thomas Applebottom

(Howard Lew Lewis) Tally Applebottom's husband. He wasn't terribly happy that Prince Edmund was attempting to marry his wife. He also appears in the prologue of "Witchsmeller Persuivant" in which he dies of the Black Death. ("The Queen of Spain's Beard", "Witchsmeller Pursuivant")

The Balladeer

(Tony Aitken) A minstrel given to cataloguing Blackadder's many failed adventures. Other than a brief scene in "Bells", the minstrel appeared only in the closing credits to each episode of Blackadder II. (Blackadder II)

Beadle and the Enormous Orphans

Beadle, an orphan master (Denis Lill) and his enormous orphans (David Barber, Erkan Mustafa and David Nunn) appear in the Christmas special Blackadder's Christmas Carol. Despite claiming to be poor, all three of the orphans are actually morbidly obese. They are, in fact, so fat that they must push and shove each other in order to all fit into a room, with Blackadder remarking that he is always afraid of "bursting one of them and getting showered in two dozen semi-digested pies." They arrive early on to visit, and ask him for some nuts (with Beadle having to physically restrain the orphans from helping themselves). They arrive later on, after Blackadder's epiphany, to present Blackadder with a small Christmas pudding and sing to him. Blackadder, however, now no longer has time or his former kindness, and promptly slams the door in their face, after taking the pudding.

Friar Bellows

(Paul Brooke) A member of The Black Seal and the clergy, Friar Bellows' godliness was somewhat less than complete given his fondness for fornication and murder. ("The Black Seal")

Ivor "Jest Ye Not Madam" Biggun

Ivor "Jest Ye Not Madam" Biggun (Geoffrey McGivern) was a politician who participated in the Dunny-on-the-Wold by-election in Dish and Dishonesty, standing for the Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party (an early frivolous party and possibly a parody of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party).

Biggun loses the seat to Baldrick, but, unlike the others, takes his defeat jovially, saying that: "if you can't laugh, what can you do?". His party's policies included: "the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery", the latter of which was apparently added "for a joke".

Brigadier-General Horace Bolsom

Brigadier General Horace Bolsom (actor unknown) was a candidate for the Dunny-on-the-Wold by-election in Dish and Dishonesty, standing for the Keep Royalty White, Rat Catching and Safe Sewage Residents Party.

Bolsom is the first candidate to be mentioned in the by-election, in which he receives no votes. On hearing this news, he promptly storms out of the building, pushing Mr. E. Blackadder out of his way as he does so.

Philip of Burgundy aka "The Hawk/Thrush"

(Patrick Allen) The deadly childhood rival of Prince Edmund, he was known to his enemies as "The Hawk" (or, when a child, "The Thrush"). Philip managed to wrest control of The Black Seal away from Edmund, leading to Edmund's hideously violent but amusing death on a bizarre torture device, the "amusing" part coming from the feathers used to tickle Edmund under "what's left of [his] arms". Philip was poisoned by Baldrick and Percy along with the members of The Black Seal. ("The Black Seal")

Sir Talbot Buxomly

Sir Talbot Buxomly MP (Denis Lill) was a Member of Parliament for the village of Dunny-on-the-Wold in Suffolk, who was recruited by Mr. E. Blackadder and the Prince Regent in the Blackadder the Third episode Dish and Dishonesty to prevent the Prince Regent from being removed from the Civil List in the House of Commons, but soon died as he sat on a chair while meeting the Prince, and left his seat open for a by-election in Dunny-on-the-Wold.

According to Mr. E. Blackadder, Sir Talbot's constituency was a rotten borough, but despite his power, only ever attended the Houses of Parliament once, during which time: "he passed water in the Great Hall, and then passed out in the Speaker's Chair". His policies included "flogging servants, shooting poor people, and the extension of slavery to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood". He was said to be a "violent, bigoted, mindless old fool," which Prince George placed as "a bit overqualified" for the appointment of High Court judge.

Cain & Abel

(Bert Parnaby & Roy Evans) A pair of peasants with a great admiration for a faceful of manure. ("The Archbishop", "Witchsmeller Pursuivant", "The Black Seal")

Lord Chiswick

Lord Chiswick
Blackadder character
Blackadder lord chiswick.jpg
First appearance The Foretelling
Last appearance The Black Seal
Portrayed by Stephen Tate
Information
Occupation Lord of Chiswick, Courtier
Nationality English

Lord Chiswick was a fictional character in the first series of the British sitcom Blackadder. The character was played by Stephen Tate.

Lord Chiswick was a courtier to King Richard IV of England. His most significant function appeared to be keeping the King supplied with fresh horses, although he did occasionally curb his master's fiery temper.

Cordelia

(Gretchen Franklin) One of a triad of three haggard witches. Named Goneril, Regan and Cordelia after King Lear's daughters, they foretell that Edmund shall become king, despite him referring to them as "hideous crones", "loathsome drabs" and "snaggle-toothed vultures". It is only after he leaves that they realise they've mixed him up with Henry Tudor (i.e. the genuine Macbeth). They appear to make this mistake frequently. The witches appeared in the episode, The Foretelling.

Sir Wilfred Death

(John Hallam) A member of The Black Seal. ("The Black Seal")

Guy de Glastonbury

(Patrick Malahide) A member of The Black Seal. ("The Black Seal")

Sir Justin de Boinod

(Bill Wallis) An English knight of Norman descent freshly returned from the Crusades, he and his drunken colleague Sir George de Boeuf attempted to murder Edmund Plantagenet, Archbishop of Canterbury after misunderstanding the King. Fortunately for Edmund, they failed to fully replicate the murder of Thomas a Becket and Edmund was merely excommunicated. ("The Archbishop")

Sir George de Boeuf

(David Delve) One of the two knights involved in the failed assassination of Prince Edmund during his tenure as Archbishop of Canterbury. ("The Archbishop")

Robin the Dung Gatherer

Baldrick's father.

Maria Escalosa, Infanta of Spain

Maria Escalosa, Infanta of Spain
Blackadder character
First appearance "The Queen of Spain's Beard"
Last appearance "The Queen of Spain's Beard"
Portrayed by Miriam Margolyes
Information
Occupation Royal princess
Nationality Spanish

(Miriam Margolyes) Infanta of Spain, Maria Escalosa was briefly engaged to Prince Edmund following an arranged marriage by the King for his own political gains. Expecting a ravishing Royal princess, Edmund was rather disappointed to discover she didn't quite accord with his mental picture, being short and fat.

Dismayed, Edmund attempts to weasel out of the wedding every way he can, first by pretending to be "like the Earl of Doncaster" (i.e. gay). The Infanta thinks he is merely dressing up as a Spanish man in order to delight her.

Edmund realises he can't get married if he's already married. He attempts to marry the first woman he finds, Tally Applebottom, a local peasant. This plan is derailed by "Father of the Bride" Thomas Applebottom interrupting the wedding by pointing out his being in fact the husband of the bride.

Edmund then coerces Baldrick into "deflowering" the Infanta: she is already not a virgin, and the King asserts it doesn't matter anyway, as only one of them needs to be a virgin.

The wedding between Edmund and the Infanta goes ahead, Edmund finally grimly resigned to his fate - but he is saved in the last possible moment on political grounds (The Swiss and French made sudden peace with each other at a mountain pass rendezvous, then forged a clandestine alliance with Spain, thus leaving the English without friends in Europe unless by chance they make an immediate pact with Hungary!), and finds himself married to the eight-year-old Princess Leia of Hungary instead.

Nurse Mary Fletcher-Brown

Nurse Mary Fletcher-Brown, played by Miranda Richardson, appears in the Blackadder Goes Forth episode "General Hospital". Like Amy Hardwood in Blackadder the Third she has a "fluffy bunny act", (her bedside manner), but is really a highly intelligent cynic. Though Prince George was originally disgusted by Amy's stupid act, his descendant Lieutenant George thinks Nurse Mary is "an absolute peach," and appears to be regressing to the nursery under her care.

She had a brief fling with Captain Blackadder, but this time it was he who was leading her on, suspecting her of being a German spy and eventually exposing her (calling her "Nurse Fleischer-Baum") with three few supposed facts: first, she spoke German and helped George by translating the words of his letters into that language; second, she confirmed Blackadder's suspicions by "probing him expertly on tank movements"; third, she didn't spot that out of Oxford, Cambridge, and Hull, only two of those are great universities (to which General Melchett replied smugly "That's right. Oxford's a complete dump"). She was sent to be executed by firing squad, but when Blackadder learns that the real source of information being leaked to the Germans was an unwitting Lieutenant George, he rushes after her, and it is unclear as to whether or not she survives.

Le Comte de Frou Frou

Le Comte de Frou Frou appeared in Blackadder the Third. He was presumably a foppish, disgruntled, homesick French aristocrat, played by Tim McInnerny. The character was forced to flee his home country for England, in order to escape the French Revolution. He was later revealed to be a disguise adopted by Prince George's friend Lord Topper, alias one half of the Scarlet Pimpernel.

The name of the character first appeared in an early-1980s Not The Nine O'clock News sketch, where, as the Belgian Chargé d'Affaires, (played by Rowan Atkinson), he attempted to explain to Mel Smith the finer points of Belgian table manners.

Mad Gerald

(Rik Mayall, although originally credited as "himself") A one-time cellmate of Prince Edmund whilst the latter was waiting to be eaten alive by snails, he had two friends: Mr Rat and, fortunately for Edmund, Mr Key, which Gerald made from his own teeth. Actor Rik Mayall would later return as Lord Flashheart in Blackadder II's "Bells", Blackadder Goes Forth's Private Plane as Squadron Commander The Lord Flashheart and in Blackadder: Back & Forth as Robin Hood. ("The Black Seal")

Goneril

(Kathleen St John) One of a triad of three haggard witches, modelled on the witches from Macbeth. Named Goneril, Regan and Cordelia after King Lear's daughters, they foretell that Edmund shall become king, despite him referring to them as "hideous crones", "loathsome drabs" and "snaggle-toothed vultures". It is only after he leaves that they realise they've mixed him up with Henry Tudor (i.e. the genuine Macbeth). They appear to make this mistake frequently. The witches appeared in the episode, The Foretelling.

Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig

(Geoffrey Palmer) (Goodbyeee) The hard nosed leader of the British Army during the First World War whose best advice for Blackadder to escape the final push was to stick two pencils up his nose and his underpants on his head so that he would be classed as insane and sent home, a plan which Blackadder had already tried... "The phrase rhymes with clucking bell. (fucking hell)"

Haig is somewhat similar to Melchett as a war leader. As he is talking to Blackadder on the phone, he is seen to be arranging a group of soldiers in a scale map. He then knocks them down with a stick and casually sweeps them into a waste basket.

Amy Hardwood

Amy Hardwood
Blackadder character
Blackadder 3 amy.jpg
First appearance Amy and Amiability
Last appearance Amy and Amiability
Portrayed by Miranda Richardson
Information
Occupation Highwayman
Nationality English

Amy Hardwood appeared in the third series episode "Amy and Amiability", and was played by Miranda Richardson.

Amy was chosen by Mr. E. Blackadder to be the bride of his master, the Prince Regent, due to his belief that her father, a moronic industrialist with a Northern accent, was extremely rich. However, upon the discovery that Mr. Hardwood wished his daughter to marry the Prince for his money, Blackadder called it off, realising the Hardwoods were impoverished.

Amy, with a strange foreign accent, appeared to be an extremely soppy and child-like person, somewhat like Queenie, though without the ruthlessness. When first introduced, a doll can be seen in her hands. Like Queenie she was proud of her nose, believing it to be "so wee I sometimes think the pixies must have given it to me".

It transpired that this was a front, and she was, in fact, the highly ruthless and practical (although squirrel-phobic) highwayman, the Shadow, as well as a master of vocal impersonations. Blackadder learned this after taking up highway robbery himself, and believing she was attracted to him as a fellow criminal. However, their plan to rob the Prince of everything he had, then go to Barbados, was modified by Amy who revealed that she intended to kill Blackadder and go to Barbados on her own. However, Baldrick cut Blackadder loose before Amy returned; the two went off to bring back soldiers to arrest her and to receive the reward for the Shadow's capture. The Prince later read in the paper, to his dismay, that Amy was hanged, without anyone learning of Blackadder's involvement.

Sean the Irish Bastard

(Ron Cook) An Irish member of The Black Seal who steals from beggars. Amusingly, he survives the first dose of poisoned wine that Baldrick and Percy serve but, foolishly, chooses to take another one, saying that "It's got a bit of a sting in its tail." ("The Black Seal")

Speckled Jim

(General Melchett's carrier pigeon who gets eaten by Edmund Blackadder)

The Jumping Jews of Jerusalem

An unentertaining act hired by Prince Edmund for the St Leonard's Day celebrations at the Royal court due to his inability to book any proper entertainments. It consisted solely of several Jewish males jumping for several minutes. The lead Jew was played by Angus Deayton, most famous for presenting the topical news quiz Have I Got News for You. ("Born to be King")

Kate's Father

(Edward Jewesbury) The father of "Bob", or rather Kate. As he had grown too old to support himself and his daughter, he was in favour of the idea of Kate becoming a prostitute. Instead, she decided to go to London, disguise herself as a boy, and seek her fortune. ("Bells")

Jack Large

(Big Mick) Also known as Unspeakably Violent Jack, the Bull-Buggering Beast-Killer of No Fixed Abode, his fearsome reputation was somewhat undermined by his being somewhat less than five foot tall. Jack was a member of The Black Seal and died after being poisoned by Baldrick and Percy. ("The Black Seal")

Dr. Leech

(John Grillo) A doctor (or quack, according to Blackadder) who, like all doctors of his age, prescribes a course of leeches for practically every complaint. ("Bells")

Princess Leia of Hungary

Princess Leia
Blackadder character
Blackadder princess leia.jpg
First appearance The Queen of Spain's Beard
Last appearance Witchsmeller Pursuivant
Portrayed by Natasha King
Information
Occupation Princess, possibly Duchess of Hungary
Nationality Hungarian

Princess Leia of Hungary was a fictional character in the first series of the British sitcom Blackadder. The character was played by Natasha King.

In 1492, at the age of eight, she married the show's central character, Prince Edmund, although she was originally betrothed to his brother, Prince Harry. A last-minute complication had changed matters, and Edmund was married to Leia instead of his original fiancée, Maria Escalosa, the Spanish Infanta (played by Miriam Margolyes). Three years later, Leia seemed uncomprehending or unconcerned at the prospect of her husband being burned as a witch. Nothing is known of her life after this point; she was fourteen when Edmund died, which leaves the question open if the Blackadder line continued on legitimately.

The name and hairstyle of Leia is a reference to the Star Wars character Princess Leia Organa.

Reverend Lloyd

(John Rapley) The priest who nearly bigamously married Prince Edmund to Tally Applebottom via rather violent persuasion by Baldrick. Fortunately, Tally Applebottom's husband Thomas made a well-timed interruption of the ceremony, accompanied by a large scythe. ("The Queen of Spain's Beard")

MacAdder

(Rowan Atkinson) The nearly identical—though red-haired—Scottish cousin of Mr. E. Blackadder. He is known as being the "most dangerous man ever to wear a skirt in Europe". He believes he is rightful king of England and plans to incite rebellion, meaning his cousin hates him. He is apparently a skilled swordsman, but also a kipper salesman and married to a woman named Morag back in Scotland though he initiates in an affair with Mrs. Miggins. He had two children, a boy named Jamie and girl Angus. Edmund Blackadder wants him to take his place in the duel with the Iron Duke of Wellington to which MacAdder replies: "Why don't I take the place of the Duke of Wellington and kill the Prince?" Edmund Blackadder tells MacAdder that if he does this he will incur the wrath of the bailiffs. MacAdder thereby declines and leaves for Scotland with Miggins, foiling Blackadder's plan.

Dougal MacAngus

Dougal MacAngus
Blackadder character
Blackadder dougal mcangus.jpg
First appearance Born to be King
Last appearance Born to be King
Portrayed by Alex Norton
Information
Occupation Duke of Argyll, Supreme Commander of the King's Army
Nationality Scottish

Dougal MacAngus, 4th Duke of Argyll is a fictional character in the first series of the British sitcom Blackadder. The character was played by Alex Norton.

The character appears in the episode "Born to be King". He is Supreme Commander of the King's Army and the Fourth Duke of Argyll. Upon his return from a crusade against the Turks, he is rewarded for his bravery with Prince Edmund's Scottish lands. Enraged, Edmund schemes to have him stabbed on stage during the entertainment.

He changes his mind about the assassination attempt after MacAngus shows him documents that MacAngus at first suggests show Edmund's brother, Harry, is illegitimate; he claims his father Donald, the 3rd Duke, had a liaison with Queen Gertrude of Flanders nine months before Harry's birth. Unfortunately for Edmund, the documents prove the Queen's adultery took place nine months before Edmund's birth, not Harry's, showing that MacAngus knew all along that he was Edmund's possible half-brother and intended to humiliate him but in the unaired episode that this episode was loosely based on, MacAngus was just as surprised as Edmund when he found out that it was Edmund and not Harry who was conceived through his mother's affairs. Edmund destroys the evidence and persuades MacAngus to inspect a cannon, which then "accidentally" fires.

Millicent

Millicent (Nicola Bryant) is Blackadder's rich, spoilt-rotten goddaughter in the Christmas special Blackadder's Christmas Carol. She wears a ridiculously large bonnet with a feather and has a piercing cackle of a laugh that forces Blackadder to wear a pair of earmuffs. In the beginning of the episode, she visits Blackadder with the sole purpose of collecting her Christmas present from him. Because of his poverty, Blackadder has bought her only a hat, but, oblivious to his poverty, she believes that Blackadder's scarf and Baldrick's gloves are all her presents as well, and takes them. She turns up later on for lunch, expecting two large turkeys, with her rich fiancee, Ralph (Ramsay Gilderdale). As Blackadder has turned away from his former kindness, he is much more scathing to her, describing her as having "a head that's as empty as a hermit's address book" and mocking Ralph for his fish face. He then lifts a lot of money from Ralph and orders them to leave, causing Millicent to storm out, replacing her piercing laugh for a piercing sob.

Three-Fingered Pete

(Roger Sloman) A member of The Black Seal. ("The Black Seal")

William Pitt the Even Younger

Master William Pitt the Even Younger was the fictional younger brother of William Pitt the Younger who took part in the Dunny-on-the-Wold by-election in Dish and Dishonesty, as a representative of the Whigs.

Pitt the Even Younger was put up as a candidate against Baldrick by his older brother, Pitt the Younger, but the announcement was welcomed with only sarcasm, and Mr. E. Blackadder began to ask the name of the candidate, including names such as: Pitt the Toddler, Pitt the Embryo, and Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye, poking fun at Pitt the Younger's adolescence.

Pitt the Even Younger ultimately lost the by-election, which had been rigged in Baldrick's favour, despite Pitt the Even Younger's smear campaign, bribing of the press and threats against the electorate if he lost the election.

Sir Dominic Prique of Stratford

(Martin Clarke) The leader of a "Thespianic troupe" who put on the deathless The Death of the Scotsman (changed by Edmund from The Death of the Pharaoh) during the St Leonard's Day celebrations at the Royal court. ("Born to be King")

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert

Queen Victoria (Miriam Margolyes) and Prince Albert (Jim Broadbent) are two main characters in the Christmas special Blackadder's Christmas Carol. Victoria, while portrayed as being quite small and fat, with Blackadder remarking that she is "the winner of "the round Britain's shortest, fattest, dumpiest woman" competition," is not portrayed in a similar way to Queenie, being portrayed instead as kind hearted and pleasant, with her favourite Christmas habit being going out posing as common folk with Albert to determine and reward the virtuous. Albert, meanwhile, is portrayed as somewhat dim-witted, being unable to keep secrets, thus causing him to inadvertently reveal his wife's surprise presents, and having a thick German accent.

Victoria and Albert, embarking on their aforementioned Christmas habit, discover Ebenezer Blackadder is the kindest man in his local area, and test him by asking him for his Christmas turkey, the last thing he has to celebrate Christmas. Upon hearing Albert's accent, he asks him about it, and Albert claims to be from Scotland. Blackadder responds by saying "I love the Gorbals," which confuses Albert, who assumes the Gorbals to be a family living in Scotland, and responds accordingly. The turn up after Blackadder's epiphany, bearing a hefty reward for his former kindness, including £50,000 and the title of "Baron Blackadder." However, Blackadder does not recognise them and insults them, before turning his insults to the Queen and Prince, unaware he is insulting them further. Enraged by his insults, Victoria and Albert leave, vowing never to return.

Blackadder later remarks that he was particularly satisfied with the insults he dealt on the pair, only to discover that they were the real Queen and Prince after Baldrick shows him the Royal Seal they had given him.

King Richard III

King Richard III of England
Blackadder character
Blackadder king richard iii.jpg
First appearance The Foretelling
Last appearance The Foretelling
Portrayed by Peter Cook
Information
Occupation King of England, Duke of Gloucester
Nationality English

King Richard III of England is a fictionalised version of the real Richard III of England in the first series of the British sitcom Blackadder. The character was played by Peter Cook.

The series' first episode, "The Foretelling", explains that King Richard III was actually a kind, benevolent ruler who doted on his nephews, and that his popular image as a murderous usurper is based on lies spread by his rival, Henry Tudor. In the episode, Richard wins the Battle of Bosworth Field, but he loses his horse. He calls out cheerfully, in a parodied version to the play of his name, "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" He doesn't have a very good relationship with his great-nephew, Lord Edmund Plantagenet, as he refers to Edmund as a "little turd", "horrid little scabby reptile", "loathsome little fairy maggot" and "smelly little dog's pizzle". Later, Edmund accidentally kills him; (Richard takes Edmund's horse, which he thinks is a stray; not recognizing the king, Edmund thinks Richard is one of the enemy attempting to steal his horse, and cuts his head off). The late King's nephew, Richard, Duke of York, Edmund's father, is then crowned as Richard IV.

During the celebration dinner, Richard's ghost returns to haunt Edmund (parodying Banquo in Macbeth).

Captain Redbeard Rum

Captain Redbeard Rum
Blackadder II character
First appearance "Potato"
Last appearance "Potato"
Portrayed by Tom Baker
Information
Occupation Sailor
Nationality English

(Tom Baker) A deranged seafarer who claims to have had his legs "sliced clean off by a falling sail, and swept into the sea before [my] very eyes" and possesses "a beard you could lose a badger in".

Rum is quite possibly the worst mariner in history, given that he doesn't seem to feel a crew is required to sail an Elizabethan galleon and doesn't know the way from Tilbury to France let alone the Cape of Good Hope.

Rum is the sole captain with, according to Sir Walter Raleigh, few enough marbles to aid Blackadder in the his trip around the Cape of Good Hope, and hence captains Blackadder's voyage of discovery - a trip that was intended to be little more than to France and back, but somehow ends up in Australia.

Unlike the average seafarer, Rum actually seem to prefer drinking his own urine to water. Percy notes that Rum began doing so before the water ran out...

Rum proposed to Nursie before Blackadder's remarkably successful trip of discovery to Australia, and she accepted. However, due to Rum ending up as a "third-rate sailor, but a first-rate second course" for some hungry natives, Nursie was left only with his beard as a memento - which she wore in remembrance of him.

Mrs. Scratchit

Mrs. Scratchit (Pauline Melville) is a woman who appears in Blackadder's Christmas Carol. While seemingly a weak and sweet-natured woman, she is actually a very greedy con artist who has a "crippled" son called Tiny Tom, who is, in fact, morbidly obese (weighing fifteen stone and is "built like a brick privy".) She starts off swindling £17 off Blackadder in return for 17 matchsticks, claiming it is needed to feed herself and her family, claiming they are too poor to afford any meals, apart from "what Grandfather can scrape from under his big toenail." She returns later on, after Blackadder's epiphany, in the hope of swindling him further, asking if he has a present for her, or has "found me a little fowl for Tiny Tom's Christmas." She is stunned when Blackadder coldly responds "I've always found you foul, Mrs. Scratchit, and more than a little." He also reveals that Tiny Tom is feigning his "disability", saying that "occasionally saying "phew, my leg hurts" when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick" (although Baldrick remarks that "it did, actually"). He then takes back the money she took from him in return for a pail of manure, and suggests she use Tiny Tom as a houseboat, sending her out, crying. She is no doubt based on the character of Mrs. Cratchit, the wife of Bob Cratchit in A Christmas Carol, although much more conniving and malicious.

Lord Smedley

(Nigel Planer) An extremely annoying friend of George and one half of the Scarlet Pimpernel, the other half being his friend Lord Topper. He is killed by a suicide pill given to him by Blackadder when he is disguised as Madame Guillotine in order to rescue him and Baldrick. ("Nob and Nobility")

Brigadier Sir Bernard Proudfoot Smith

(Bill Wallis) A patient with thick German accent at the hospital in the fourth series episode "General Hospital." Captain Darling thinks he is the German spy, but he is revealed at the end of the episode to be the finest spy in British Army, who picked up "a teensy-veensy bit" of an accent while working undercover in Germany.

At one point, during their stay in the hospital, Lieutenant George asks Smith if he knows any suspicious characters who might be German spies. Smith answers "Nein" and an astonished George misinterprets it as nine suspects, speculating that Blackadder has "got his work cut out for him."

Soft

(Stephen Frost) A guard at the Royal Palace, along with Anon. ("Witchsmeller Pursuivant", "The Black Seal")

Don Speekingleesh

(Jim Broadbent) The Infanta Maria Escalosa's incredibly annoying interpreter. Don Speekingleesh accompanied the Infanta at all times whilst in the Royal palace, and translates practically everything she says - even when she was making love to Baldrick (in the guise of Prince Edmund). Don Speekingleesh was played by Jim Broadbent. ("The Queen of Spain's Beard")

Lord Topper

(Tim McInnerny) An extremely irritating friend of George he is offered the chance to go and rescue a French aristocrat by Blackadder but he refuses. He then disguises himself as Le Comte de Frou Frou and is 'rescued' by Blackadder and Baldrick. After being captured by an evil revolutionary (Chris Barrie) and escaping, he reveals himself to be Topper and, coincidently, one half of the Scarlet Pimpernel, the other half being his friend, Lord Smedley, who had already been killed by a suicide pill given to him by Blackadder. When he is about to tell George the truth about his 'rescue', he is also killed the same way as Smedley, Blackadder slipping a suicide pill into his wine. ("Nob and Nobility")

Lord and Lady Whiteadder

Lord Nathaniel (Daniel Thorndike) and Lady Whiteadder (Miriam Margolyes) are Blackadder's Puritanical aunt and uncle in the episode Beer. Blackadder describes them as "the most fanatical Puritans in England" and is pleased to get a message that they are coming to his house to discuss their "whopping great inheritance." Unfortunately, Blackadder's meeting with them coincides with a drinking competition Melchett and some friends have challenged him to. He is, therefore, forced to hold the two dinners in separate rooms.

The two, mostly Lady Whiteadder, are comically revealed to be very devout, dressing in white clothing with helmets crowned with crosses, and wearing four large crosses each. Both are exceedingly condescending, with Lady Whiteadder denouncing almost every homely comfort as works of Beelzebub, from chairs (at home, Nathaniel sits on a spike, while she sits on him), the mashing of turnips (for she claims Satan mashes them out of envy) and heating (because "cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!"). Despite these maniacal beliefs, she is strangely delighted after Baldrick presents her with a phallus-shaped turnip. To make matters worse, Nathaniel has (reluctantly) taken a vow of silence, meaning Lady Whiteadder dominates the conversation, and repeatedly slaps Edmund across the face whenever he brings up a subject she disapproves of. Eventually, they discover Blackadder's drinking party and leave (though not before Lord Whiteadder renounces his vow of silence and thanks Blackadder), only to run into the party in the main hall. Eventually, they join in on the party and, by morning, are as hungover as everyone at the party. After hearing the word "luck," Lady Whiteadder emerges from beneath a drunken Queenie's skirt, laughs loudly and drunkenly proclaims that the word sounds rude because "it sounds almost exactly like fu-".

The Wise Woman

(Barbara Miller) A "deranged druid" (according to Blackadder) who Baldrick habitually used to cure medical complaints. Out of desperation, Blackadder decided to brave the swampy wilderness of Putney and seek her counsel to cure him of his "homosexuality" when he found himself attracted to "Bob". She recommends Blackadder sleep with "him", as that's what she tends to do with people she's attracted to - although she has to drug them first, due to her being "so old and warty". Her subsequent alternative solutions are met with equal disdain; Blackadder vehemently refuses to kill 'Bob', declines the suggestion to kill himself, and treats the solution of killing everybody in the whole world- thus preventing anyone from learning his secret- with disdain. ("Bells")

The Witches

A triad of three haggard witches, they foretell that Edmund shall become king, despite him referring to them as "hideous crones", "loathsome drabs" and "snaggle-toothed vultures". It is only after he leaves that they realise they've mixed him up with someone else (i.e. Henry Tudor, who had passed by moments before). They appear to make this mistake frequently. The witches appeared in the episode, The Foretelling.

The Witchsmeller Pursuivant

The Witchsmeller Pursuivant
Blackadder character
Witch smeller.png
First appearance Witchsmeller Pursuivant
Last appearance Witchsmeller Pursuivant
Portrayed by Frank Finlay
Information
Occupation Inquisitor
Nationality unknown

(Frank Finlay) During the episode Witchsmeller Pursuivant, plague breaks out and reports of strange and unexplained phenomena, such as "two women claiming to have been raped by a fish", abound. The council of Lords recommends that "The Witchsmeller Pursuivant" be sent for, in order to track down and eliminate the presumed cause of the ill omens. After Edmund mocks the Witchsmeller by referring to him as "Old Big-nose", the Witchsmeller tricks Edmund into incriminating himself as a witch. During the ensuing trial, Edmund, Percy and Baldrick are found guilty of witchcraft and sentenced to be burned at the stake. However, the Queen provides Edmund with an apparent voodoo dummy of the Witchsmeller, which falls into the fire when Edmund is about to be burned, resulting in the Witchsmeller dying himself and Edmund being apparently cleared.

The Young Crone

(Sadie Shimmin) A resident of Putney and something of a receptionist for The Wise Woman. ("Bells")

References


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