- Just Annoying!
"Just Annoying" (
1998) is a short story collection by children's author and comedian Andy Griffiths. It's the second in the " Just!" series. The stories, as expected from the title, recounts more short stories where Andy annoys everyone with his amazing feats.
Are We There Yet
After Andy annoys his father by repeatedly asking "are we there yet" and trying to get rid of a fly in the car, he is kicked out of the car in the middle of nowhere (presumably in western
New South Wales). A gentleman on his motorcycle sees Andy and picks him up to chase Andy's car and to come back to them. After the man catches up to the car, Andy jumps from the motorcycle to the car. Andy's car stops to a halt when Dad and Mom see Andy on the windshield. Dad goes berserk telling to Andy he was going to be picked up in only 10 minutes.
Copycat From Ballarat
Andy goes to a school dance at Jen's school dressed as a girl to impress Craig Bennett who is Jen's boyfriend. After the dance Andy reveals himself as a boy after his hair wig falls off. After the dance, Craig angers after realizing he danced with Andy (who he actually hates) instead.
Wish you Weren't Here
Andy visits his grandparents in
Mildurawith a gnome from his neighbour's garden. But he highly suspects that the gnome is alive.
Andy gets out of going to the school sports by looking after his imaginary friend, Fred. He gets out of going because he thinks he is better at everything than everyone else, and wants to give them a fair go. But when his mother gets attached to Fred, he invites a mean imaginary friend called Damien, who she unfortunately gets attached to as well.
In the Shower with Andy
Andy wants to see what it feels like to have the shower full with water during the time Mr. and Mrs. Bainbridge are at Andy's house for dinner with his parents. With a lot of time on his hands, Andy seals up the door with caulk from his Dad. Unfortunately, he starts drowning in cold water since the cold tap was stuck, and the only way out is through the fan. He reaches up and pulls it and is on the insulation patches as the water rises up the stall. With his rubber duck with him, a fiber in the vent pokes him. In temporary pain his loses the duck after being startled. He moves to where the duck is but realizes it's where an unsupported area is. The ceiling caves in and he finds himself lying on the dinner table below the shower, nude.
Would You Rather?
At the dinner table with his family, Andy asks a silly question to his whole family at the dinner table. He asks "would you rather be eaten by Ants or Lions". Andy and Dad have a whole discussion about this while occasionally being interrupted. The story ends with no real answer from the three.
Murder, Bloody Murder
Andy and Danny scream "Murder, Bloody Murder!" at Andy's neighbour Mr. Broadbent for ages. But Mr. Broadbent gets very angry, so they get incense and meditation music. Then they start to pour water onto his office's roof. But they accidentally set the fence on fire in the process. Mr. Broadbent fumes and grasps the two boys with his hands and the story ends with Andy and Danny both yelping "Murder, Bloody Murder!"
The Last Jaffa
While watching a
James Bondmovie (presumably a repeat of The Spy who Loved Me) at the cinema stuck behind a lady with tall hair, Andy loses his last Jaffa and annoys a lot of people while finding it. He eventually never finds it, instead while going under seats a woman notices Andy's arm is unintentionally through a purse strap. She yells "Thief!" in the theater so security guards find Andy. He uses strategies to eventually avoid the people in the movie trying to catch him. He finds himself by the screen with people surrounding him (meanwhile Andy's Dad and Danny have both left), Andy jumps through the screen and finds many Jaffas along with other candy found leftover and on the floor from people's past times at the theater.
winging on the Clothesline
Andy spends a lot of time breaking the clothesline speed record, which annoys his parents a lot. To make sure Andy stops, Dad borrows a huge dog and leaves it to guard the clothesline. Andy uses bait to distract the dog from catching him.
* [http://andygriffiths.com.au/books/justannoying Andy Griffiths - Just Annoying]
Wikimedia Foundation. 2010.