Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch

Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch

Infobox Boondocks Episode
Title = Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch

Caption = Robert's date, Luna, going against Huey in a "friendly sparring match".
Airdate = November 19, 2007
Season no. = 2
Episode no. = 21
Production no. = 207
Writer = Aaron McGruder
Rodney Barnes
Director = Seung Eun Kim
Guests = Aisha Tyler
Tichina Arnold
Episode list = Infobox Boondocks Season 2

"Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch" is the sixth episode of the second season of the Adult Swim animated television series "The Boondocks" and the twenty-first episode overall. It originally aired on November 19, 2007.


The episode begins with Granddad trying to find a beautiful young woman to date through online dating sites (which he discovered from Riley in "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back") but with no more success than his first attempts. He becomes increasingly upset as each date fails to live up to the online photos they post on their respective profiles.

Determined to not give up, Robert turns to web-cams to better his chances of finding a real 'cutie-pie'. This proves fruitful when "Luna" (voiced by Aisha Tyler) agrees to spend the weekend with the Freeman family. Both of the boys are a little wary, Riley especially believes she's going to steal their cash, but Granddad dismisses their concerns and assures the boys everything will be fine. Huey simply doesn't believe meeting someone so early is wise.

Luna arrives shortly after and is physically everything Granddad has hoped for. A visual gag shows her Myspace photo set floating next to her as she stands in the doorway, for comparison purposes. The character comments that she looks just like her photo, (an example of breaking the fourth wall). That night the Freemans and Luna enjoy a nice dinner, though the mood quickly shifts after Luna reveals she owns wolves (fifteen of them, and a Dalmatian and two retrievers) and is a master of "White Lotus Kung-Fu". Huey is deeply disturbed by this, for being an expert in martial arts himself he knows it to be the "deadliest style". While Granddad is quite a bit nervous, this soon turns to an object of horror among the family after Luna explains her participation in the mythical secret mixed martial arts master tournament known as the Kumite. In a flashback, Luna is shown in one on one deathmatches which she dominates, before ripping her opponent's still beating heart out. Luna herself is quite indifferent to such homicidal tendencies, even going as far to joke about them.

The Freemans excuse themselves and regroup in the bathroom. Both boys insist that Granddad end his date immediately, but Granddad isn't willing to end the date with Luna on the grounds she may use one of her 'exploding nutsack techniques'. Meanwhile, Luna is on her headset with a friend named Nicole (voiced by Tichina Arnold), who seems to believe that Luna should not take fault in anything that may have caused Robert to act strangely. Huey tells Granddad that that Luna can't really be a White Lotus master, and leaves the bathroom to express his skepticism to Luna herself. She offers to give him a demonstration in the form of 'a friendly sparring match'. Huey accepts, and ends up being utterly and severely beaten.

After recovering, Huey gives Granddad an alibi to get Luna out of the house. Unfortunately, Granddad doesn't stick to the story he and Huey agreed on. He botches the plan by claiming to be the party planner for Fidel Castro's birthday, with Jay-Z providing transportation to Cuba. Luna takes the bait, and leaves to the delight of the Freemans, particularly Huey, who believed Granddad's "Fidel Castro's birthday" excuse wouldn't work. However, Luna is soon enlightened by Nicole that Castro's birthday isn't until August, so she quickly turns around and drives back. Robert is seen playing checkers with Uncle Ruckus at the park, both unaware that Luna is spying on them while they're playing their game. During their conversation, Robert talks to Ruckus about his recent date and luck with women in internet dating. She overhears Robert calling her a "crazy bitch", which infuriates her. On Nicole's advice, a very angry Luna decides to make Robert pay.

The boys return home later and find their rooms ransacked and the windows barred with nails. When Riley picks up the phone, he discovers it's been disconnected. Before they can do anything, Luna seals them inside the room. Granddad enters the house moments later and is subdued by Luna knocking him out with a chokehold. She then ties him up and holds him at gunpoint. When Robert wakes up, an emotionally unstable and deranged Luna demands the truth as to why Robert ended the date with her, and whether he believes she's crazy. Unsurprisingly, Granddad is fearful of responding truthfully or making an excuse. Moments later, Tom arrives at the Freeman house. Huey had e-mailed Tom earlier, expressing concern that Luna might return with violent intentions and asking him to check on the Freeman family periodically. An embarrassed Tom, who believes Huey was worrying over nothing, eventually explains this to Luna and asks to be allowed inside to search the home. Luna tries to get Tom to go away by lying to him, but Huey had anticipated everything Luna was likely to tell Tom and had advised him not to believe it and to search the house anyway. Tom reads the transcript of the e-mail to Luna and is knocked out by her mere seconds after he begins reading the part where Huey warns him how dangerous she is. She binds him and puts him with her other captive.Granddad pleads for her to spare Tom, who had nothing to do with what's going on, and for himself to be released. Luna denies the request, saying Robert broke her heart, and now believes he is no different than "the others". When Granddad asks who these "others" are, Luna explains her life story and her unfortunate relationships with men around her, that her father was physically abusive to her mother and thus made her weak in her own love-life, resulting in her trend of allowing men she dated to harm her both physically and emotionally. She finally breaks down, but Granddad tells her she was far too special to even consider dating such men. He goes on to say that no matter how horrible her past relationships were, she can't take her anger out on those she encounters in her love-life who don't have the same feelings for her, as it'll prove to be counterproductive. Tom agrees, and says kidnapping those who she has feelings for but doesn't receive them back in return is not an ideal way to get a partner. Luna agrees, but is saddened at the fact she's lonely and may never get married, contemplating blowing herself up with a grenade. Granddad and Tom urge her not to (in large part because setting the grenade off in the bedroom would also kill the two of them), and Granddad tells her she shouldn't allow people to abuse her in the way she has been, and to take charge of her responsibilities in life.

Luna finally calms down, frees both Granddad and Tom and decides to leave the Freeman household. With the crisis avoided, the family and Tom wait until Luna has left before feeling safe. However, Nicole points out that Luna isn't even certain that Robert would marry her after she gets help, complains about how Robert "ditched" her even after she told him her life story, and says if she was in Luna's situation, "she would just freakin' die". Luna, under such depression and loneliness, decides to take Nicole's perceived (and quite bad) advice and blows herself up. The episode ends with Grandad, Riley, and Tom walking away from the window, with Riley complaining how the weekend turned out. Huey stays behind staring at the remains of the car before he finally leaves as well. Outside, Nicole continues to chatter through her Bluetooth earpiece, giving more bad advice about torturing Granddad into proposing to her, completely unaware that Luna has already committed suicide.

Notably the episode has moments involving winks at the Mortal Kombat Franchise. In two instances one involving Luna removing an opponents heart with her bare hand resulting in a bloody displayed "Fatality!" During which an elderly kung fu master individual resembling Sheng Tsung tells her, "FINISH HIM!" The Second being when Tom insists to enter the house after many attempts at being turned away by Luna, she quickly throws him over her shoulder in a types of Judo types move causing the text to be shown. "LUNA WINS!" and "FLAWLESS VICTORY"

Cultural References

- While Grandad is Dancing after the opening credits you can can hear a crude rendition of Temperture by Sean Paul, with the lyrics sounding like quotes from Dr. Seuss Books.
-During Grandad's story about Lionel Richie and his ex-wife, a soul version of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" is heard in the background during Richie's "ass whipping" scene.

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