Radar’s Report

Radar’s Report

Infobox Television episode
Title = Radar’s Report
Series = M*A*S*H

Caption =
Season = 2
Episode = 3 (27th Overall
Airdate = September 29, 1973
Production = K402
Writer = Sheldon Keller

Laurence Marks
Director = Jackie Cooper
Guests = Joan Van Ark

Allan Arbus
Episode list = List of "M*A*S*H" episodes
Prev = "5 O’Clock Charlie"
Next = "For the Good of the Outfit"

"Radar’s Report" was the 27th episode of the M*A*S*H television series, and third of season two. The episode aired on September 29 1973.


This episode has a voice-over of Radar reading a report as he is typing it. Comically, it includes where he puts punctuation and how he spaces the report. In each scene of the episode, the viewer hears the actual scene as well as hears the report that Radar is making.

The episode opens with a tired Radar O'Reilly drinking coffee, rubbing his eyes, and typing the weekly report from the commander officer of the 4077, Blake to Headquarters Seoul Commanding General. The report is from October 17 to October 24, 1951 inclusive. During this period of time there has been heavy wounded. All the surgical personnel have had to be on alert and working 24 hours. At one point he takes off his glasses, and tries to type using the adding machine. This starts the adding machine working. He knows how dumb it was and puts his glasses back on to use the typewriter. As he is typing out the report, you hear a female and male voice outside his office laughing. Hawkeye Pierce enters the office and asked for the keys to the linen room. Radar tosses him the keys. Hawkeye leaves the room and more female giggling is heard.

The next scene is in the operating room. The voice over lets you know that among the wounded is an enemy, Communist Chinese prisoner. The following are the details of the incidences in the operating room. The voice over stops. Hawkeye is operating with a new nurse. He is flirting with her, trying to get a date. Frank Burns wants the chatter to stop. Henry Blake tells him to keep working. Trapper and Hawkeye starting joking the quality of his work. Frank says that none of his patients have ever complained about him. It is pointed out that his patients are asleep when he works on them. Hawkeye and his nurse, Lt. Erica Jones finish their patient. The next patient they are handed is the Communist Chinese prisoner who has a bullet in the rump. They attempt to put him under when he jumps off the table and grabs a surgical knife. Father Mulcahy attempts to calm with by saying "Fong Chow". The father thinks that this means peace. Lt. Colonel Blake yells for back up help from the guards. One operating room personnel trying to take the knife is cut. Another tries to grab the prisoner and a fight between him and the prisoner results in the last bottle of AB negative blood breaking. The Father is shouting "Fong Chow". Erica tries to talk the prisoner into giving up the knife, but she is cut. Hawkeye starts to talk to him when Klinger enters the room and his dress strap is cut by the prisoner. He points a gun at the prisoner which stops the incident.

In the next scene, Radar continues the voice-over. Radar says that "Fong Chow" means "your daughter is with child and that that brings much joy to our village." He makes a report on the incident stating that Klinger had loss of personal property of a bra sized 36B which needs to be replaced.

The next scene is Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre discussing the incident. The operation with the prisoner was successful but McIntyre is worried about his patient who is still unstable as a result of the incident. Hawkeye tries to let Trapper see it from the prisoner’s point of view. Trapper is not buying it. Trapper is concerned that his patient is not going to survive. Trapper asked about the nurses injuries. Hawkeye says that she is going to be fine with some help from his personal physician.

Next scene Hawkeye is walking towards the tent of Erica Jones and Frank is going to see Margaret. Frank walks into Margaret’s tent and goes to kiss her on the neck to discover that he has kissed Klinger instead. Margaret walks into her tent and is mad to see Klinger using her things and kicks him out of the tent. Margaret and Frank decide they have had enough of this cross dressing pervert. They are going to get Klinger out of the 4077 once and for all.

Next scene is Hawkeye attending to Nurse Jones’s wounds. He is flirting and seducing her until she picks up a glass with her left hand and he sees a wedding ring. He leaves the tent friendly but distancing himself from her.

Next scene is in Henry Blake’s office. Margaret and Frank are giving a formal complaint about Klinger. Henry Blake requests a formal psychiatric evaluation for Klinger. Margaret, Frank and Klinger are pleased. They are all sure he will get his Section 8 discharge.

Next scene is Radar typing the report with a voice-over of the above. After typing the report, Radar hugs his teddy bear, feeds the bear coffee and wipes the bear’s face. After he is completed with the task of caretaking his bear he continues to type and says, “Crazy people.”

Hawkeye and Trapper are outside their tent drinking. They discuss that Erika is married. Hawkeye says he does not want to be involved with a married woman. He wants a woman he can marry. Trapper is happy his patient is doing better. Radar runs up to them and says Trapper is needed in the hospital right away because his patient is doing badly. It looks like it could be internal bleeding.

Hawkeye goes to Nurse Jones tent. They talk and he discovers that she is not married. Hawkeye wants to marry her. He is in love. He is then paged over head to the OR.

Next scene is Radar typing with a voice-over or Radar summarizing the above events. Trapper patient is critical. Nursing Jones is recuperating from her injuries under the personal supervision of Hawkeye. Major Milton Freedom is coming out to evaluate Klinger.

Major Milton Freedman arrives in the next scene and goes to Henry Blake's office. Henry Blake does not think that Klinger is a section 8. Henry thinks that Klinger is just trying to get discharged. Klinger walks in the office in an orange dress, white bonnet, and white purse. Major Freedman starts in evaluation.

Next scene is in the OR with Piece and McIntyre preparing to operate. Margaret walks in with a grim face and tells Trapper that the patient died a few moments ago. Trapper is devastated. Trapper goes into the hospital and stands by the POW bed wanted to kill him. Hawkeye talks him out of it.

Next scene is Major Milton Freedman giving Klinger the section eight discharge if he will sign that he is a transvestite and homosexual. He tells Klinger that this will be on his permanent report. Klinger realizes that he is neither a transvestite nor a homosexual. He does not sign the papers. He is considered sane by the formal report of Dr. Freedman.

Next Ericka Jones confronts Hawkeye about the rumors of them getting married. She tells Hawkeye that she does not want to get married. She informs him that she has new orders and will be going to Tokyo tomorrow. They have one last night of romance together.

The last scene is Radar enters Blake’s office to get Blake to sign the weekly report. Blake reads the report and signs it.

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