Howard Is Bald

Infobox Album
Name = Howard Is Bald
Type = EP
Artist = Anal Cunt


Released = 2001
Recorded = 1995
Genre = Grindcore
Length = 7:27
Label = Self-released
Producer = Anal Cunt
Reviews =
Last album = "Old Stuff, Part Two"
(1994)
This album = "Howard Is Bald"
(1995)
Next album = "Top 40 Hits"
(1995)

"Howard Is Bald" is the name of an EP recorded in 1995 by American grindcore band Anal Cunt. In 2001 it was released in a limited pressing of only 53 copies. "Howard Is Bald" is a concept EP as it features ten songs about Howard Wulkan, a New York music executive, and his apparent baldness. When asked about the EP by a fan, Seth Putnam stated that Anal Cunt made the recording one night when they were drunk, with the intention of sending it to their friend, Howard Wulkan and that the reason for only having 53 copies pressed was "because it sucked so badly". Wulkan himself has commented that he was only ever aware of 8 cassette copies of the album ever being made, which means that up to 61 copies may exist in some form or another. The album is widely available as a bootleg on the internet.

ong structures and style

Anal Cunt's alleged inebriation on "Howard Is Bald" is supported by the quality of the recording itself (or lack thereof). It sounds as if the entire EP was recorded with a handheld tape recorder (as had been the case for several of Anal Cunt's early EP releases). The performances by the band are also jaded and obscured by their being drunk.

Covers

Five of the ten songs on the EP are covers, four being performed in a karaoke style, with the members of the band simply singing over the original recordings and altering the lyrics to make them about Howard Wulkan. The songs performed in this way include "You Should Be Dancing" and "If I Can't Have You" both originally performed by The Bee Gees. Seth Putnam sings lyrics about Howard Wulkan in a falsetto voice over the original recordings of these songs. Putnam would later make extensive use of this same falsetto singing style on the "Picnic of Love" album. Anal Cunt had previously recorded a hardcore arrangement of "Stayin' Alive" on their album "Top 40 Hits" Apparently, one of the members of Anal Cunt owned a copy of the "Saturday Night Fever" movie soundtrack, which provided the Bee Gees tracks, as well as the two disco instrumentals. There is also an acoustic cover of the song "Bad To The Bone", originally released by George Thorogood and The Destroyers, with the lyrics changed to 'Bald to the bone'. In addition to songs with lyrics, Anal Cunt also adds lyrics to instrumental songs such as "Night On Disco Mountain" and "A Fifth of Beethoven".

Original material

Some of the songs, however, aren't covers, such as "A Conversation With Howard Wulkan", which is a skit in the form of a conversation, with members of the band asking questions to Howard and the reply to each question being an exaggerated laugh, performed by Seth Putnam. This track, along with parts of some of the other songs, is obviously improvised. The final track on the album is a parody / imitation not of a specific Wesley Willis song, but of the songwriting style featured in the majority of his songs. The song would most closely compare to Willis' song "Rock And Roll McDonald's".

Track listing

# Howard is Bald - 1:51
# Bald to the Bone - 0:47
# A Conversation With Howard Wulkan - 0:37
# Ballad of Baldness - 0:35
# Howard Wulkan Is Bald (Acoustic Version) - 0:05
# Howard Wulkan (Jazz Version) - 0:08
# Night on Bald Mountain - 0:31
# You Should Be Balding - 0:46
# If I Can't Have Hair - 0:18
# Howard Wulkan (Wesley Willis Version) - 1:39

*Tracks 5 and 6 are often listed as one track called "Howard Wulkan Is Bald (Acoustic & Jazz Versions)" however, the record sleeve lists them as two separate tracks.

Who is Howard Wulkan?

Unlike most of the targets of Anal Cunt's ridicule, Howard Wulkan is actually not a famous person or a celebrity. Howard Wulkan is a music executive and native of Queens, New York. He is a former employee of Earache Records and currently works for New York City based record label Expansion Team Records. The album is a playful and lighthearted homage from Anal Cunt to their friend, Howard Wulkan, who worked alongside them in the studio in the mid-90's