Techno Destructo


Techno Destructo

Techno Destructo is perhaps the most famous GWAR villain (by GWAR's standards). He is played by either Hunter Jackson or Don Drakulich (though the former created the role, he was in Detroit around the recording of "Hell-O", and was replaced by the latter), though Jackson played the character for the majority of his time in GWAR. Techno is a cyborg, with a very large atomic-powered right arm, which serves as both a claw (or monkey wrench-type device, in later years) and as a club with which he uses to bludgeon various characters (usually Oderus Urungus).

Techno In GWAR Lore

He is described (largely by himself) as coming "from beyond Venus, beyond Jupiter, and that's way past Uranus, buddy," and that he "drinks Multi-lube and jerks off to Popular Mechanics." It is known that Techno was one of the Scumdogs of the Universe - the Master's elite corps of warriors used to fight his ancient enemies (most notably Cardinal Syn; the video to "The Road Behind" shows Techno and Oderus teaming up against Syn, the only known footage of the two on the same team), and that when GWAR opposed the Master, Techno opposed GWAR. It is also known that Techno Destructo was two personalities (the other played by Don Drakulich), and that they split (though the reason for that remains unknown) into two distinct characters: Jackson remaining Techno, and Drakulich becoming Bozo Destructo (due to his resemblance to Bozo the Clown); the key differences between the two are the face, their arms (Techno having a claw-type arm, and Bozo a large hammer-type arm), and their appearances (Bozo appeared irregularly, and Techno was a near-constant annoyance to GWAR). Both had the same goal: destroy GWAR. When they team up, however, they end up attacking themselves, and not GWAR.

The following millions of years, though never actually described in full, have Techno searching for his brethren to re-enlist them on the side of the Master, offering the now-famous ultimatum, heard in concert and album: "GWAR will SERVE the Master, or GWAR...WILL...DIE!!!!" GWAR repeatedly chooses the latter, and prompts battle with him. His repeated defeats (always starting out in his favor, with him making "mincemeat of Oderus' brains on a nightly basis") never seem to weaken his resolve, though, and neither does his enslavement (immediately following the Tour de Scum). He remains a slave for a number of years, working to take GWAR down from within.

It is explained (from old entries at GWAR.net) that Techno was responsible for sending the Morality Squad after GWAR, and that he summoned Cardinal Syn (something he had done in the past, with no success), who in turn dispatched Skulhedface. Using Techno's genitalia as a plug, GWAR was able to broadcast Slave Pit TV everywhere (Slave Pit TV was holding a telethon, where people gave their lives to awaken the World Maggot, to which GWAR would hitch a ride and leave Earth permanently), and killed enough people to awaken the World Maggot, but were stopped by Skulhedface (who was defeated without Techno).

With Skulhedface defeated, Techno tricked GWAR into thinking the year 1996 was in fact the year 1999 (the reason the tour was called RagNaRok N' Roll 1999), and thus, according to prophecy, the world was about to end with the coming of the comet RagNaRok. It was, in fact, not a comet, but Cardinal Syn. GWAR had to free Techno in order to defeat him.

After Cardinal Syn's defeat, Techno had raised enough support among GWAR's other slaves to begin his next series of plans to defeat GWAR. Using a robot duplicate of Sleazy P. Martini, Techno issued radioactive crack to GWAR, which hypnotized Slymenstra Hymen. Meanwhile, he genetically engineered abused penguins (abused by GWAR) into foul creatures as his second wave of attack. This was ultimately halted, but by then, Techno's wedding had begun. Once the crack wore off, however, Slymenstra exacted her revenge, but was not able to defeat him outright. It was after the slave revolt that Techno regained his arm and revived Gor-Gor as a cyborg-zombie dinosaur. He didn't count on losing the remote control, which somehow found its way into Slymenstra's possession. Gor-Borg out of his control, he was maimed, but remained alive (the "Don't Need a Man" video verifies this, though it is unknown just how it fits into GWAR lore). Techno's next sighting was on the 2000 Halloween tour.

Techno Destructo has yet to be seen since (Jackson left Slave Pit shortly after a 2000 Halloween tour), and although Oderus Urungus insists that he eventually killed him in the Art-Fag Wars of the early 21st century, there is no proof to this (Oderus exaggerates his victories). During his comments on the 2006 DVD "Blood Bath and Beyond," Oderus declares his respect for Techno and Bozo, though he would "talk shit about them any chance I get."

Costumes

Hunter Jackson was responsible for the costumes for the original GWAR lineup; they were originally for a space pirate movie he wanted to direct called "Scumdogs of the Universe." Techno was one of the original characters, and started out with a segmented arm made of cardboard, papier-mache, a vacuum cleaner hose and aluminum foil. As time went on, he redesigned Techno, with a two-digit grabbing claw-arm, and a large backpack. After the Tour de Scum, Techno became a slave (but did have his routine in non-story-related tours), and his arm and pack were gone. It wasn't until 1996/7 that Jackson redesigned the assembly one final time to resemble a cross between a hand and a monkey wrench. Everything else appeared relatively similar, though the materials used were of higher quality.

Future Appearances

Hunter Jackson left Slave Pit and GWAR in November 2000. Thus the characters of Edna Granbo (of the Morality Squad), Techno Destructo, and Scroda Moon will never reappear on tour. Additionally, Don Drakulich has stated that there were tensions between Jackson and the rest of Slave Pit, in particular Dave Brockie, which ultimately lead to his leaving; as such, Jackson is reluctant to share any of the old GWAR video footage he possesses (including the segments that comprise "TVD").

However at both Comic-Con San Diego 2006 and 2007, Hunter Jackson (as Techno Destructo) made appearances to help promote GWAR's new action figures from Shocker Toys.


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