show_name = Stupid!
genre = Comedy
Marcus Brigstocke Phil Cornwell Rusty Goffe
language = English
num_seasons = 2
num_episodes = 20
network = BBC
May 13 2004
website = [http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc CBBC Website]
imdb_id = 0499408
tv_com_id = 33890
"Stupid!" is a comedy television series for children in the
UK, broadcast first on CBBC, then on BBC One. It is created and written by Dean Wilkinson, who also wrote SMTV Live.
The show centres around the mythical King Stupid (
Marcus Brigstocke, later Phil Cornwell), an immortal who is the instigator of all stupidityon Earth. King Stupid has files on every human and can make them behave as stupidly as his whim desires using an advanced computer system to view them, before 'stupidizing' them through use of a large yellow button on his desk (though sometimes the yellow button is not shown). Containing a large rotating mesh ball with many monitorsupon it (this monitor ball is holographicand is generally silver except for one episode in which it is turned red after being reprogrammed by Count Cruel). Stupid also owns a "personal disorganiser" which resembles a personal digital assistant(PDA), this device is used so Stupid can make stupidity wherever he goes. The King resides in his castle in the Etherworld, a pan-dimensional realm with upside-down wall sockets, home to many Deed Monarchs, each of which with different facet of human behaviour to rule over: Queen Sensible, King Angry, Count Cruel, and King Wonderful, each with their own gremlin butler which mirrors their own facet. The Ether World is also home to a myriad of ogres, imps, banshees, witches, boggarts and many other mythical creatures. Stupid's work might have come to an end thanks to Judith Bibble. The series ends on a cliffhanger, at the end it says to be continued?
Goober (Stupid's Butler)
Stupid’s work (or rather, play) is made all the more difficult by his annoying purple
gremlinbutler Goober ( Rusty Goffe), whom he constantly refers to as a "bog house rat", goes out of his way to make the King’s life hell. The love-hate relationship between the King and Goober provide a sitcomelement to the show with a self resolving story arcthroughout each episode. Goober is normally given a variety of boring tasks by Stupid such as going to the supermarket and doing the vacuuming (which takes him 40 years). Occasionally members of Goober's family, such as his sister who Stupid falls in love with, appear in the show. At times Stupid and Goober team up to achieve a common goal, for example to get rid of Queen Sensible, however most of the time they disagree with each other. Stupid is prone to twisting Goober's tail and calling him names to make him obey his commands. As with all gremlins, Goober's tail catches fire if he is seen by a human.
There is no over-encompassing story arc to the entire series. The two main characters act like video jockeys introducing King Stupid's work on earth – the sketches – in which children and adults are manipulated into doing seemingly random and stupid acts for no apparent or obvious reason, other than Stupid's enjoyment.
The Ending Titles
As the titles play at the end of each episode, King Stupid appears and usually makes comments about the people in the credits. A common jibe goes as follows "Stupid people, look at them going along there, he's very stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid."
Other Deed Monarchs in the Show
King Wonderful Comes to stay at Stupid's castle during one episode, much to Stupid's annoyance. He is got rid of when Stupid invites King Angry, Wonderful's rival over. Goober puts him in the teleportation device, but instead of sending him back to his castle, he is sent to Earth. He is seen by a human and promptly turns into a tree.His gremlin butler Croodle is very caring and giving, so much so no one has seen her in 1,200 years as she’s doing missionary work at the farthest reaches of the Ether World helping flightless fairies take hang-gliding lessons, undersized trolls use stilts, (poor things are only 9 foot tall) and swimming lessons for mermaids who are scared of water.
King AngryA fearsome character who is constantly either incensed with rage or just seething with subdued fury. Anything and anyone winds him up and he snaps with only the slightest provocation. He hurls things around, shouts, stamps his feet and throttles people. His butler, Suggill has a metal collar round his neck at all times in readiness for the many throttlings he’ll endure each day. Angry makes humans bad tempered, intolerant and violent. He thought up epidemics like Road Rage and Air Rage and is constantly inventing new ones, (his latest is Bath Rage – the fury you feel when someone’s used your flannel, or left a tide mark round the bath that you’ve just got in.) His gremlin butler Sluggill is a thuggish and criminal brute of a gremlin. Always ready for a scrap, loves to pick fights and tends to deliberately break anything he touches.
Queen SensibleThe bane of Stupid’s life – even more annoying than Goober. Queen Sensible is so infuriatingly prudent and level-headed about each and every little thing she does. She is the exact opposite of King Stupid and they really do despise one another (or do they?) The Queen is the moral and wise side of human behaviour. It’s her influence that makes kids open a savings account, or take a spare pair of pants with them if they went far from home – the kind of things only boring adults should think about. Stupid's apparent rival. Oddly, she is turned into a tree during one episode, but appears again in her real form in the second series- (where she gets turned into a tree again)Some of her phrases include "Chew every mouthful of food 27 times and brush your teeth after each meal. My teeth are my monoliths to healthy eating." Her Gremlin butler is Lulibub, an extremely polite and nice little female gremlin who only speaks when spoken to. She has impeccable manners and is amazingly polite to everyone. She does everything she’s told to and never leaves a mess. And consequently, like Queen Sensible, has no friends.
Lady StrangeA mysterious and soft spoken woman who moves very slowly, seemingly pondering ever action – however trivial. She’s quite infuriating because she never seems to be 100% listening to you – her attention is somewhere else and always gives a smug, knowing look as if to say she knows a lot more than he’s letting on. Strange is an elusive Deed Monarch who rarely puts in an appearance – and her work reflects this. She makes humans suddenly feel odd, out of place and weird. Her Gremlin butler is Beatnik, a
hippy, flower power gremlin. Very very laid back and wise (well, he thinks he, but he’s not!) If you ask him the time he’d answer with some hippy claptrap like, ‘Hey man, why ask the time, time ain't never asked anything of you has it? Chill.’ Beatnik says "chill" a lot, usually when putting flowers in people’s pockets.
Count CruelKing Stupid's twin brother, who makes humans do cruel and evil things. He always dresses in black and red and is basically hard on everyone around him. He makes an appearance in one episode where he tells Stupid that their father has died and Stupid goes to sort out a funeral, leaving Cruel in charge of the console, who modifies it to replace stupidity with cruelty and even attempts to turn Goober into a footstool! Stupid returns, after realizing his father has not died (apparently, he cannot die anyway, since he is also immortal) and it was most embarrassing funeral ever. After returning the console to its original state, Stupid and Goober plot to teleport Cruel to the human world, but their plan is nearly thwarted when Cruel dresses in Stupid's spare robes, thus confusing Goober, yet he works out which one's which and uses the Beam-Out device on Cruel, sending him to the human world where he is turned into a cactus a man then sticks a sign on him saying danger spikes. Cruel then replies oww now that's cruel! How ever in the episode "Judith" he is third in the most controlled competition. Hinting that he may have found away back to Ether realm. Note that King Wonderful is first on the chart. And Queen Sensible is teleported away in series 1 and is seen again series 2. Both of these are also teleported to the mortal realm.
QUEEN SHYis only mentioned once, in the same episode as King Wonderful.But is seen in the episode 'gremlin swap'.He wishes to go to her castle when he finds out that King Angry is coming to visit.Goober also ended up as her butler in the episode 'Gremlin Swap'.
Other characters include:
Snaffles (Gremlin Butler)
Brangling (Gremlin Butler)
Starky (Gremlin Butler)
Fubber (Gremlin Butler)
Whimbrell (Gremlin Butler)
The Viscount Valiant
Gallant (Gremlin Butler)
Nosey (Gremlin Butler)
Earl Of Sloth
There are many characters that King Stupid and Goober interact with; these include:
Catchphrase: "Devil finger!!! *pokes a person*"
David believes that his finger is possessed by the
Devil, and tries to hurt people with it by using repetitive stabbing and poking actions whilst shouting "Devil finger!", and, on one occasion, "Double devil finger!" (If the fingers are unable to be used, he uses the "Evil elbow"). However he can't protect himself against other people who claim their finger is possessed, like Cow Bite(possessed by an ancient cow), with whom David ends up in a nasty duel, or "Bendy Wendy" with whom David falls in love. The role of The Devil finger Kid is played by Travis Yates, who has formerly played the lead role in " Billy Elliot the Musical" at London's Victoria Palace Theatre.
Catchphrase: "I rest my case!"
Casey wears a
Barrister's wig and always has to judge a "crime", especially against her teacher in class, and even if it means convicting her own parents. Examples include threatening to take her teacher to court, because she has never paid her to do her homework. She insists that there really is a law which states that children must be paid for any work they do outside of school- or class. She also registers her barrister's uniform as the school's official uniform. In one sketch, Casey herself is taken to court for impersonating a barrister, but manages to convict the judge for damaging crown property (hitting the court table with his gavel). In another, she is looking for a date, and someone introduces her to a boy who is also dressed as a barrister. Surprisingly, Casey says he isn't her type.
The Gran who keeps 'Dying'
Catchphrase: "*laughs* Oh, your face Graham!"
Graham (Tony Bignell) always has to put up with his gran (played by OAP actress
Geraldine James), who will play dead,making Graham get into a flap- he often screams "My lovely gran!", and kneels down beside her "body", sobbing uncontrollably. She always says "Oh, your face!" when she has tricked him and laughs at him. On some occasions she expresses a wish to have a camera. She often carries out her tricks with the help of a model. For example, when Graham is brushing her hair, her head appears to fall off, but it turns out to be a model of a head, with a wig that looks just like his Gran's hair on it.
Want It? Can't Have It!
Catchphrase: "Here, do you want it? hah! Can't have it!"
Sarah thinks it's fun to tease someone at the most inopportune moments by not handing them the tool or object they desperately need, like a tool to mend a leaking pipe, and even an operating tool in a hospital in a matter of life and death. In one sketch, she refuses to hand a ticket over to the doorman, resulting in her missing a
Catchphrase: "yeah, thanks.. BIG NOSE!", "Um, I said nothing.. DOG BREATH!", "Urrrgh! I'm getting touched by poo fingers!", "Oh shut up fish face!", "*softly and sadly* I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." & "It just comes out."
Jas (played by Stephanie Wookey the same girl who plays Karen "Overreaction" Jackson, and Sarah "Want it, can't have it!" and now in law school at Cardiff), is always being rude to people. She always starts off polite, but then she ends up calling people rude names such as "Big nose!", "Dog breath!" or using put-downs like, "Urrrgh! I'm getting touched by poo-fingers!"- she doesn't mean to do it, but she just can't help herself and the comments just come out unexpected. This often has bad consequences for her- such as having her school certificate withdrawn when she is rude about the teachers as she goes to receive it. She also ends up in a nasty fight with her best friends' parents. After King Stupid sets her free, she apologizes to the person she has been rude to but they still don't forgive her. Her condition resembles
Box Boy is a boy who pretends to be any object that is box shaped, such as a photo booth, washing machine and even a jukebox. He has never revealed himself to the public. However he sounds like Frank Boffin. His hands are often seen in a blue jumper slotting out of the box. His inventions include (his spelling is extremely poor):
Jukebox(spelt Dukebox) - He only sings songs by bands he likes, and even then he gets the words wrong.
Post box(spelt Post Bocks)
Photobooth(spelt Foto Booth) - He draws a quick picture of the person having their photo taken.
Washing machine(spelt Woshing masheen)
Gotta Go Joe
Catchphrase:"I think I've found a way out of here....I think I might have been a bitstupid."
Gotta Go Joe is a boy who constantly believes he is a prisoner at school and tries to escape via any means necessary. For instance, when in a PE lesson, he tries to tunnel out of the school from under the vault. He is often accompanied by another pupil, who always tries to discourage Joe from trying to escape. Joe's main plan is to cooperate with the teachers at his school (using an over-exaggerated voice) and then make his exit. His escape attempts usually have bad consequences- he misses out on painting
Sophie McDonnellin the nude during art class, and is banned from the cinema for good when he leaves a trail of popcorn on the floor. Whenever he tries to escape we hear the theme to Mission Impossible.
Time Team Archie
Catchphrase: "I am the new Tony Robinson!"
Time Team Archie (Played By
Travis Yates) is a boy who thinks he's found an amazing new discovery. At one sketch, we hear some pan pipes play and Archie says "What we can see here is an ancient discovery" and is actually studying his sleeping Grandad. After that his goes to dig up his dead hamster.
Catchphrase: "Think of the potential."
He has an unmistakable wig and glasses, and is always pestering a patent registration officer with his strange inventions, like "An orange, genetically modified to look and taste like a banana", and a toy dog which can translate English into barking. Whenever his inventions are actually praised he says "You're just mocking me. If you don't think they are good then just tell me." and leaves. The best example of this is his "Inny-Outy Device", which allows him to bypass security and materialise in a room. His trademark phrase is "Think of the potential."
Catchphrase:"I'm here, (sinks to ground and comes back up again) and now I'm gone!"
Ian is a boy who claims he has a "special skill": being able to turn invisible. He attempts to use it on many occasions, such as retrieving his friend's confiscated football or sneaking into the girls' changing room, yet it does not actually work. He believes he can activate it just by saying "I'm here! And I'm gone!" and it is revealed that his family believe the same thing when his friend comes to visit, whom they believe has the power to see the invisible when he says he can still see them. He is often seen with his mate.
Catchphrase: "I win!"
A young boy's grandfather who keeps turning everything into a competition, and then fixing it so he wins. The sketches always end with him triumphantly exclaiming, "I win!", except for one sketch where his grandson says, "Most irritating Grandad in the world-I win!"
Emotionally Unstable Scout Leader
Catchphrase: He's not my ex wife's boyfriend, he's a fancy man! After a bitter divorce in which his wife left him for a "fancy man", the
Scout Leaderkeeps getting his Scouts to wreck the lives of his wife and her new husband. The "fancy man"'s ex-wife runs a Girl Guides team and when the two meet, they ally and ransack the "Fancy man's" house (although he wasn't in at the time). He is played by Dominic Coleman.
Jeff the Chef
Catchphrase: "...And don't forget the vital ingredient, MY SHOES!", (Stirs shoes with wooden spoon in bowl) My shoes! My shoes! My shoes!""No! Don't take me away from my ingredients!"
Only appeared in one episode, he is a
TV chefwho kept putting his shoes in his recipes, and singing "My Shoes, my shoes, my shoes" or "Don't take me away from my ingredients. They're my only family!". He used a book, some toy soldiers and in the last sketch, he uses 2 chickens as his "shoes" and dances around with them.
Catchphrase: "*screams* Oh that's alright, that's why they call me "Overreaction Jackson"."
Karen Jackson starts screaming over trivial matters, such as when a hairdresser tries to cut her hair, often resulting in a person getting fired or sued. She also laughs insanely when a story or joke is told to a person other than her, and often falls over. An example is when she volunteers for a physiotherapy demonstration, but screams so loudly that it drives off all the other prospective clients.
Catchphrase: *plays chopsticks*... Ok I'll play something else *plays chopsticks* A supposed gifted pianist, Mr. Broom, who can only play "Chopsticks", and pretends to burst into tears whenever his student reluctantly plays the piece themselves, so that the lesson cannot continue. But when his student leaves the room, Mr. Broom plays more exotic pieces.
=Rude WaitressbelaDelivers food, but is then extremely rude, eating the food, starting food fights, stealing people's chairs, and interrupting everybody. The Restaurant Manager sacks her but he's just as bad, as he once did the same with a pudding trolley.
A pair of siblings who pretend to present a news programme, managing to annoy their mother every time. The girl tends to announce the news in the kitchen or the car, and the boy is "at the scene of the action", e.g. in the car park, toilet or the kitchen at
teatime. Examples of news reports include the travesty of their mother going out to play Bingo instead of making the kids chips for supper, and on one occasion, they are playing hide and seek and Danny gives Emily clues as to where to find him. She thinks it's such a great hiding place that she goes in there herself when it is her turn.
Interesting and Unusual Neil
Catchphrase: "I bet you don't meet a strange and unusual person like me everyday!!!"
Neil Bell is a boy with big curly blond hair, a pink shirt, braces, a silver foil cap and a droopy bow-tie. He goes around the park, trying to impress people with his interesting facts and unusualness. His main victim is a boy he keeps trying to make friends with, by showing off to, with
Tarzanimpressions, imaginary royalty, a dog, amongst other things. In one sketch, a girl does seem impressed by him, and he is ecstatic- until he discovers that she is a "Trekkie", and offers to teach him to speak Klingon- then you can't see him for dust. In the same episode, there is a theme where two parents try to find a babysitter for their baby. Devil Finger and Microphone Girl are the first two, and are fired when they make the baby cry - but the baby adores Neil, because Neil talks to the baby about unusual facts about babies can't drive cars, but they can drive milk floats and Neil even said that he was born fully clothed.
creaming Fan Girls
3 friends who scream about people like binmen and check-out girls as if they were celebrities and outrageously famous popstars like Spice Girls and Westlife. On one occasion, their mother reveals that she is no better, when she asks for an autograph- she says its for a friend who just happens to have the same name as her.
The Wailing Walls
The Wall family are deeply disturbed and think they can get whatever they want by wailing in a loud monotone yell continuously at shopkeepers and the like, also using this to jump or interrupt queues. They consist of a father, mother, and two children, a boy and girl, and all dress in identical red macintoshes with the hoods up. The shopkeepers, or, in one sketch, a librarian, tend to give them what they want just to get rid of them. In one sketch, a librarian is forced to read an entire, very boring book to them to get them to go away. They meet their match when they confront the equally bizarre Ringing Ding family, who dress exactly the same, except their macs are navy blue, in the queue for a bus. After they have succeeded in making everyone else give up their place in the queue, they discover the Ringing Ding family at the front. The families have a contest- the Walls wail in their usual way, whilst the Ringing Ding family make "Ring ding ding ding" noises. The sketch ends with both families agreeing never to speak of the incident, and leaving in opposite directions. Both families have a strange way of walking when they leave- they shuffle off sideways.
Teenage Concentration Span
Catchphrase: "Mum: Did you get all that? Mattie: Errrrrr...Yeah!"
Mattie is a teenager who's already short attention span is made shorter by King Stupid whenever he is required to take in important information, like where a ward in a hospital is, or tea and
Biscuitsfor a church coffee morning (even though his mother wrote the things down on a list!). When he is not listening, it is often shown that he has amazing talents such as juggling or plate-spinning.
Catchphrase: "But not too tarty!"
A makeover show presenter who specializes in making over gardens like putting
Nail varnishon conifers, or putting clothes on a tree for example (this usually happens in an unwilling person's garden). Her catchphrase is "...but not too tarty!" She is accompanied by a rather flamboyant fashion designer named André, and a stylist named Andrea, and also by the Policeif she's not too careful. Also, when this sketch comes on, there plays a theme very much like Changing Rooms.
Catchphrase: "PIGGYBACK!!! *Leaps onto a person's back*"
Jockeynamed Penny, always dressed in a purple horse rider's hat and a pink jacket, who can't tell the difference between a horse or a man, because when one bends down, she shouts 'Piggyback!' and lands on the back of the person. She is a source of shame for her parents, who unsurprisingly, are shunted out of most parties, weddings, etc. Even the centenarianUncle Albert cannot stop her.
A school choir boss runs the choir as if it were a
footballteam, threatening members of the choir with foreign transfers, and claims the school bell is half-time. He also speaks in a Manchesteraccent. Any critic of his is in trouble.
he fancies you!
Catchphrase: "She fancies you! No she fancies you! No she fancies you! *repeated*"
Two twin sisters argue and say "No! She fancies you!" when they meet people in the most inappropriate places, like to a boy hiding from them in a
cupboard, or a robberin the middle of the night.
Catchphrase: "*One child* It was all going well. *Together* To start with!... *tells a horror story*"
Two children who sit on a wall in a street or a school stage and when someone tries to enter they get into a spooky story to answer questions they don't know the answers to (like why they have a day off on Friday, or where a girl's bag is) with close ups of their faces, then they trail off and admit it was a made up tale. All their stories start perfectly normally, and then they say "To start with..", and tell a spooky horror story.
A girl who does not speak properly, but uses wildly over exaggerated
onamatopoeiato tell people things e.g. to tell her friend about her holiday. Unsurprisingly, no-one can understand a word she's saying. Her mother appears in one sketch- she is called when a driver asking for directions fails to understand her daughter. As it turns out, the mother's directions are equally incomprehensible.
A girl whose mother always acts like a stereotypical teenager and joins in girl talk with her and her friends much to the annoyance of the girl who tells her mum to go away. It usually ends in her mum taking them all out.
A boy and girl who are dressed up as
FBIagents with suits, shades and walkie-talkies who tell people to 'step away from the...'.
Catchphrases: "I don't think so." "I'm such an idiot!" A girl who doesn't believe that someone is the person they claim to be when they are, this always ends with her (POSSIBLY) missing out on something really good, e.g., she misses out on going to America with her uncle Clive, and meeting
Justin Timberlake. At the end of each sketch, she comes to her senses and tries to undo her actions. The uncle Clive sketch ends with her chasing after him, and the Justin Timberlake ends with her hugging Kirsten O'Brien, trying to charm her into letting her come. The sketch also tends to end with her sensible best friend getting the treat instead.
Fancy Dress Parents
Catchphrase: "I'm sure it said fancy dress on the invitation."
Dress up in fancy dress clothes for all events they go to (and do not involve
fancy dresswhatsoever), and always cause a scene in front of their daughter. Their trademark phrase is "I'm sure it said fancy dress on the invitation". But when there is a fancy dress party, they have no dress whatsoever.
Catchphrase: "Dark! Very Dark!", "Nothings nice when your heart is as cold as the grave!" & "You're fired! I sometimes wonder why I bother!"
A female teenage goth thinks that she is a
witchand that she can put curses on anyone who doesn't do what she says by bringing out soft toys dressed up in Gothic clothes. She announces the toy's demonic identity, and sets it after those who mock her. But then they get flattened by a bus or fall on the floor. The girl gets angry and throws the cuddly toy to the ground. Her sketches often contain a young boy called Ian and his girlfriend, who both think goths are losers. The girl is slightly kinder, but not much. She is played by the same girl as Overreaction Jackson, but is barely recognisable.
he knits me everything
Catchphrase: "No! Its a knitted one!"
An eccentric mum knits her son every imaginable luxury, such as a
dog, the newest games consolearound or, what's worst of it all, she knitted a new father (the old father left her because of her eccentric knitting). She also knits all the family clothes, including her son's school uniform.
A duo act as if they were in "The Professionals", going further than their "job" entails, such as tormenting their sister because of a half-
biscuitfound in one of the duo's room and tearing the head off their sister's doll.
Catchphrase: "I'm trying to save his/her life! I'm trying to save his/her life!" "How close was that?"
A young lad tries to do the
Heimlich manoeuvreon people that just put something into their mouth, like a harmless whistleor a slice of cake in the case of the Queen. He is mocked by his peers.
Whenever someone brings their animal to see the vet, the vet suddenly starts acting very peculiarly indeed. For example, when a girl brings her dog to the vet's, she foolishly puts her cuddly bunny down on the table while she goes to pick him up, but the vet sees the cuddly toy, and starts desperately trying to resuscitate it. She also makes fun of a
cat's flatulenceproblem by imitating fart noises and calling the cat "Windy Mindy". However, the cat then farts loudly in her face.
Stupid's worst enemy (in a cameo by
Rebecca Ryan) who investigates his works and falls prey to his advances in front of the country on Newsround("see below"), and she films the work on her phone and Stupid's work may come to an end. She is less a sketch, more an important part of the plot in the final episode of series two.
Mr Quiver is a teacher who is very strict with his puplis until another adult enters the class. When this happens he acts all shy, cowering in fear and speaking in a squeaky, quiet voice.
Nigerian car salesman offers his clients a spacehopperand a tiny toy carmuch to their annoyance. His catchphrase when they storm off is "Timewaster!". His attempt to forget about annoying his clients is to no avail.
These aren't necessarily the subject of a sketch, they are the affected. A man and his wife keep on trying to find babysitters for their baby. They first choose:
MegaphoneGirl who shouts the baby through her megaphone.
**Devil Finger who attacks him.
**Neil Bell, who the mum is against because she claims he is an
idiot, but he actually entertains the baby with his unusual "facts" about babies, such as their inability to drive, or the fact Neil was born "fully clothed", to the doctors' amazement. The dad chose him when it became clear he and his wife could not attend a function.
An unusual old reverend, who only appears in one episode. He is the first to discover a new planet, or naming the
Beckham's new child, giving them strange names at the last minute (due to Stupid Rex's mind control - "see below"), such as "Melanie Frou Frou Fridge Magnet Wobble-Bottom", for Beckham's child, and "Chuffing Flannelhooter" for his planet, the former being surprisingly to the satisfaction of DavidHe called his child TuppenySnugglewoffer.
Poor Decision Maker
Catchphrase: "I think I've just made a terrible decision!"
A seemingly normal man who is affected by King Stupid in any shop- King Stupid makes him make dreadful decisions. The decision isn't heard but includes having his eyebrows shaved off in the hairdresses, having "STUPID" tattooed across his forehead, and even selling his son at a charity shop. The sketch ends with his catchphrase "I think I've just made a terrible decision!".
An incompetent face-painter always gets the wrong idea when she paints kids' faces. She asks pointless questions- such as "How much has he stolen?", when a child says they want to look like a bank robber, and when asked to make a girl look like a
tiger, she wants to know how many siblings the tiger has. She then proceeds to make a very bad job of painting their faces. When a boy says he wants to look like William Shakespeare, she makes his face look like a skull, because Shakespeare has been dead for over three hundred years. When the kids run off in tears, she always looks furious and says they are stupid.
Alan, who is a businessman in his thirties who is a dad acts like a child and his daughter acts like the parent. He refuses to eat cabbages and cries if he doesn't have the "
Financial Times" and " The Guardian". In the dinner sketch, she bans him from listening to Radio 4 and as once the girl apologizes for his poor behaviour, the rest of the adults at dinner start crying and act like children too.
Catchphrase: "No one can outdo Romeo Jones! The greatest lover in the world!!!"
A young lad who claims himself to be the world's finest romantic, who usually fails dismally in his pursuits. When encouraged by a girl receiving flowers from an admirer, he brings it to a new proportion, and has an even larger bunch of flowers and because of
hay fever, he sneezes in her face of all places. When he sees a girl receiving perfume, he makes some then accidentally sprays it in her eyes. The one sketch where he does succeed in winning the girl is a sketch which combines him with the disbelieving girl. He asks her out, since he meets all the criteria she looks for in a man, but she does her usual trick. However, he asks her friend if she wants to go out with him, and she agrees.
Mechanical Destruction Boy
Catchphrase: Cheerie bie! *walks off and skips*
A boy (Played By Ben Thompson) goes to fix things when he finds them broken, only to be destructive against them using only a hammer (which is the only tool in his box). Once, in the case of a
mobile phone, he actually "helped" boost the signal, and he refused payment ("I wouldn't know what to charge you love, this has never happened before").
Ignorant Dinner Lady
Catchphrase: "Oops! Oh dear! I seem to lost me contact lenses, Oh, I found them! Oops! No, that's just a button!, Bleep! Bleep! Bleep! I am a robot! Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!" & "He's as thin as a rake, it must be a cry for help!"
A dinner lady working in a school canteen who is seemingly polite to everyone she serves. However, when a certain boy shows up, she ignores him or makes him wait longer for his lunch in many ways, such pretending to be on the phone, lose a contact lens, pretending to be a
robotor wearing an Open/Closed sign around her neck. The boy then leaves after losing his patience without any food and the dinner lady makes a comment about him not eating; "He's as thin as a rake. It must be a cry for help." She then goes back to her usual routine, serving the other students.
Catchphrase:"I'm Mr. Fabulous"
Mark Dence (
Travis Yates) is a nerdy boy (has brown wavy hair and enormous glasses) who believes he is a superhero named Mr Fabulous. Every time he is in a situation where something bad happens, e.g. an old lady whose handbag is stolen or someone whose dog is trapped on the other side of a river (or some cases, an everyday situation such as asking a girl out), he takes his clothes off (including his glasses) and stands heroically in his underwear, including a vest with a backwards F on it. However, his attempts to save the day fail and the sketches usually end with him looking for his glasses. He meets his match in one sketch where he meets an equally geeky person who believes he is a super-villain named Dr. Demon (complete with vest with backwards D on it). The two are about to fight, but they end up looking for their glasses as they both severely short-sighted.
The Undivorceable Parents
Catchphrase:"(Whenever the parents brings Vince in for a family hug) Vince exclaims, "I think I'm gonna hurl!"
Vince is a boy who wants his loving parents to be divorced since all his friends' parents are divorced, and they get twice as many presents as him at Christmas and birthdays. Vince tries every trick in the book to get his parents to divorce, and it always looks as if it has worked, but then either the mother or the father finds a way of twisting things, which make them love each other even more. The sketches always end with the mother and father sweeping Vince into a family hug, and Vince exclaiming, "I think I'm gonna hurl!"
Catchphrase: "She can't be the new girl, I'm the new girl. There can only be ONE new girl." and "I'm the only new girl now."
A student who has been at a school for months always acts as if she's only been there only few days. She uses this as an excuse for not wearing correct uniform or P.E. kit. Each sketch featuring the "new girl", features the arrival of another girl, much to the annoyance of the "new girl". The teachers, influenced by Stupid, always put the real new arrival under the wing of the "new girl", and she always finds ways to get rid of them, like deliberately losing them on a fun run. Each sketch ends with her saying evilly, "I'm the new girl. There can only be ONE new girl".
Which one is it?
Catchphrase: "I'll go ask"
A girl who is talking to two older girls at school. They always talk about embarrassing behaviour of staff, but never knows which one out of two teachers it is. This causes the younger girl to ask the teachers (or dinnerladies in one case), this always ending in trouble. Sketches include: Sweaty Betty in which a P.E teacher wearing a sweat band is talking to a normal teacher. After asking she gets told she has detention, but never finds out what teacher is Sweaty Betty causing her to go back and ask again. She also gets
Chinese burnsafter asking the school's toughest bully why she gets called Wee-Wee Knickers behind her back.
Catchphrase: "You're nicked!'
A boy acts like a policeman, and tries to arrest innocent passers-by for things like blowing their noses ("using your hooter in a built-up area") or walking too fast. He often enlists the help of his brother when the "criminal" tries to resist- for example, when he slaps an "ASBO" on a man, who promptly removes it and rips it in half.
Catchphrase: "No I didn't."
A child asks for a 99 ice cream, the icecream man makes it, then licks it, forgets the flake and stick their fingers in, etc.
A group of ministers from various countries (including the Danish territory of
Greenland[This is erroneous, as Greenland is unable to represent itself personally in negotiations, leaving foreign affairs to Denmark] ) need a decision made, like new chairperson, but is decided by brooms, musical chairs or dancemats.
Megaphone Girl (Vicky Laylan)
Only appears in one episode; she uses a megaphone in the worst possible places, eg. a library
Two kids think they are celebrities and ironically, everyone believes they are, except one teenage boy (who is played by the same actor as "Gotta go Joe"). When he was trying to take a photo of a famous landmark, they keep getting in his way. Then the kids spread their fame in the school dining room. The children all came to the celebrity kids and all screamed for their autographs. The teenager keeps yelling at them that they are not celebrities until an attractive girl walks past him and is impressed that he seems to know the two fake celebrities. He then pretends to be their manager and offers to get her their autographs.
A dog owner's attempts at caring for her dog- a poodle named Carol- all go horribly wrong. She makes lunch for both of them, then accidentally eats some of Carol's dog food. Then she throws Carol instead of a stick when they play fetch.
Catchphrase: "*scoffs chocolate bars and laughs manically* I love chocolate! Gimme chocolate! *still laughing manically*"
When children go and see the dentist and he finds out they have sugary treats like chocolate, he greedily scoffs them and all the other chocolate bars he confiscated from the child.
Fast Food Girl
The fast food girl is the an employee at a Fast food restaurant that tries to do things as quickly as possible. She tells people to eat quickly and order quickly. She even throws food at the customers. She even opens up and shuts down in the space of 5 minutes. She was also hired and fired all in 1 day. She is played by
* Episode One: 'This Is Us'
* Episode Two: 'Human Food'
* Episode Three: 'Love Stupidly'
* Episode Four: 'Poorly Goober'
* Episode Five: 'Goober's Bath'
* Episode Six: 'The Invisible Pet Dragon'
* Episode Seven: 'Holiday'
* Episode Eight: 'Queen Sensible'
* Episode Nine: 'The Anniversary'
* Episode Ten: 'Fiends Reunited'
* Episode One: 'Virtual Stupidity'
* Episode Two: 'Wonderful To See (The Back Of) You'
* Episode Three: 'We've Got A Boggart!'
* Episode Four: 'Rory Grue'
* Episode Five: 'A Picture Of King Stupid'
* Episode Six: 'Count Cruel Calls'
* Episode Seven: 'Chupacabra'
* Episode Eight: 'Gremlin Swap'
* Episode Nine: 'Fame On You'
* Episode Ten: 'Judith'
Despite being aimed at children, "Stupid!" has been criticized for its use of the word "damn". However, one dialogue from one of the sketches involving the Unstable Scout Leader was cut out in syndication after one of the characters used the word "slapper".Fact|date=February 2008
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