The Chaperone (Seinfeld)

:"For the SpongeBob episode see The Chaperone (SpongeBob SquarePants)"Infobox Television episode
Title = The Chaperone
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = Kramer coaching Ms. Rhode Island.
Season = 6
Episode = 87
Airdate = September 22, 1994
Production =
Writer = Larry David & Bill Masters & Bob Shaw
Director = Andy Ackerman
Guests = Danny Tartabull, Buck Showalter
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 6 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Chaperone" is the 87th episode of NBC sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 1st episode for the 6th season. It aired on September 22, 1994.

Plot

Jerry meets Miss Rhode Island, who is competing in the Miss America pageant and consequently must be chaperoned on her date with Jerry; Kramer fills the role and quickly becomes her personal coach. Elaine seeks to follow in the footsteps of Jackie Kennedy Onassis in securing a position with Doubleday, but she soon finds her job as personal assistant to an executive to be unfulfilling. George replaces polyester with cotton as the material for the Yankees' uniforms, with alarming results.

Quotes

*Kramer: If the U.S. was on the brink of a nuclear war and the only way the conflict could be averted was if you agreed to sleep with the enemy's leader. What would you do?
Miss Rhode Island: Kramer, are these questions really that important?
Kramer: Yes!! If you stumble, if you hesitate you can kiss the crown goodbye. Now if I've told you once, I've told you 1000 times, poise counts! Swimsuit, talent, evening wear, POISE!

*Miss Rhode Island: (singing) Its a most unusual day, feeling like throwing my worries away...
Jerry: It's like watching an animal being tortured.
George: That's a shame. (eating chicken)

*Announcer #1: And the Yankees take the field.
Announcer #2: And what is with the Yankees? They look like they're having trouble running. They can't move.
Announcer #1: It's their uniforms, they're too tight. They've shrunk. They're running like penguins. Forget this game.
Announcer #2: Oh my God, Mattingly just split his pants.
Jerry: That's a shame.

*Jerry: Well, good night, Ollie.
George: Good night, Stan.

*Kramer: [humming] .
Jerry: Oh shut the [censored] up.

Trivia

* This episode aired the same day as the premiere of Friends.
* This is the first episode to be directed by Andy Ackerman, who took over as the series' primary director from Tom Cherones.