- The Old Man
Infobox Television episode
Title = The Old Man
Series = Seinfeld
Caption = George, Elaine and Jerry in the apartment.
Season = 4
Episode = 58
February 18, 1993
Edie McClurg, Lanei Chapman, Victoria Dillard, Bill Erwin& Tobin Bell
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 4 episode list
"The Old Man" is the fifty-eighth episode of the American television sitcom "
Seinfeld". It was the 18th episode of the 4th season. It aired on February 18, 1993.
Jerry, Elaine and George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry gets assigned to a nasty old man with a foreign housekeeper that he claims is trying to steal his possessions. Elaine is repulsed by the goiter problems of the woman she is visiting and George depresses his assigned senior citizen by questioning his outlook on dying.
Kramer and Newman try the business of selling some of Jerry's old records to a used record store but are not satisfied with the results. The man Jerry is responsible for tells him that he wants to get rid of some of his "junk", including a mass amount of old records which Kramer and Newman show up later to pick up. The man bites Kramers arm, causing him to jerk back and launch his dentures in to the garbage disposal. Jerry loses track of his man when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his
dentureswhich were promptly destroyed after the garbage disposal was turned on, mistaken for a light switch. Meanwhile, Elaine discovers that her old woman had an affair with Ghandi, and one of the stories she tells directly mirrors what George had said to the housekeeper about him 'dipping his head in oil and rubbing it all over your body'
In the end, George is seen at the old mans house getting his head massaged with oil by the housekeeper (something he had mentioned he wanted to do earlier in the episode).
George: I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.
George: Let me ask you something: what do you do for a living, Newman?
Newman: Why, I'm a United States postal worker.
George: Aren't those the guys who go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?
Jerry: Why is that?
Newman: Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming. Piles of it, more and more! And you have to put it all out, but the more you put it out, the more it keeps coming in! And then the barcode reader breaks! And it's
Publishers Clearing HouseDay!
George: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: Well, I think I'm pretty much like you. Only successful.
Old man: Oh, my housekeeper. She steals from me. Says she don't speak English....my ass she doesn't speak English! Plays that freakin' voodoo music to hypnotize me. Well, I'll tell you something: I wasn't born yesterday! I might drop dead today but I sure as hell wasn't born yesterday! Now get the hell out of my house!
George: Don't you have any sense? Don't you have a brain? Have you gone so completely senile that you don't even know what your talking about anymore?! Hey, where are you going?
Old Man: Life's too short to waste on you.
Old man: Good. Thank God. Good riddance. Oh, before you go, would you mind changing my diaper? Ha, Ha (
House keeper: No, No, English.
George: I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body. You don't understand, it's a miracle.
Jerry: You're throwin' this stuff out?
Old Man: I believe that's what you do with garbage you IDIOT!!
Newman: (repeating what Kramer whispers in his ear) You are nothing but a piece of crap... I find you extremely ugly... you emit a foul and unpleasant odor... I loathe you!
Newman: It was a real melee.
Kramer: Yeah, a real brouhaha.
Old Woman: And that's when I began my affair with Mohandas.
Old Woman: Mohandas.
Old Woman: Oh...the passion! The forbidden pleasure!
Elaine: You had an affair...with Gandhi.
Old Woman: He used to dip his bald head in oil...and rub it all over my body.
Supermansticker is visible on Jerry's refrigerator when he opens the door to let in the old man's son.
* In this episode it is revealed that Newman is a mailman.
Lanei Chapmanplays the housekeeper. In an alternate ending to this episode that was never broadcast, her character reveals that she speaks fluent English, causing George to lose interest in her.
* The old man's name, Sidney Fields, is a reference to
Sidney Fields, who was a writer and actor who was featured in " The Abbott and Costello Show".
* Tobin Bell from "Saw" fame plays the record store owner
*The fork on the bike in Jerry's apartment is backwards.
*Veteran actor Bill Erwin was nominated for a Primetime Emmy for his portrayl of Sid Fields, the old man Jerry is assigned to.
*The scene where Kramer tells Newman what to say is similar to a scene in the 1957 film
The Seventh Seal.
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