The Great Sermon Handicap

The Great Sermon Handicap

"The Great Sermon Handicap" is a short story by P. G. Wodehouse. It was first published in the June 1922 edition of Strand Magazine, and saw its first book publication in "The Inimitable Jeeves" in 1923. Its plot continues into "The Purity of the Turf"; however, since the two may be read as independent stories, they continue to be published separately, unlike several other stories from the same book.

Plot summary

Departure from London

Bertie Wooster complains to his valet Jeeves of the oppressive weather and inactivity in London in the summer. Jeeves replies with typical unflappability:

:"Just as you say, sir. There is a letter on the tray, sir."

:"By Jove, Jeeves, that was practically poetry."

Bertie opens the letter and reads it with confusion. It comes from his cousin Eustace, who offers to let Bertie in on an opportunity to make some money. Eustace and his twin brother Claude, Bertie's cousins, are part of a reading party studying the classics with Rev. Francis Heppenstall and staying at Twing Hall, the seat of Lord Wickhammersley, a good friend of Bertie's late father. Bingo Little is also present at Twing, though Eustace's letter does not reveal why, nor does it reveal how the twins propose to make the money. Jeeves observes that the letter continues on the back, and Bertie reverses it to discover the header:

:SERMON HANDICAP
:RUNNERS AND BETTING
:PROBABLE STARTERS.

followed by a list of vicars, along with the towns to which they belong, as well as a series of handicaps in minutes, and odds on each at the bottom.

Neither Bertie nor Jeeves can comprehend the list, but Bertie resolves nevertheless to go to Twing, which they do by the five-ten at Paddington the following day.

Arrival at Twing Hall

Bertie arrives just in time for dinner and takes his seat next to Lord Wickhammersley's daughter Cynthia, his friend since childhood, and with whom he was once in love. She acquaints him with the various guests at the table, including several clergymen and finally Bingo Little. She suspects that Bingo is slightly weak in the head, having noticed him looking at her strangely on several occasions. When she demonstrates the gaze, Bertie realizes and informs her that Bingo is simply in love with her, much to her astonishment.

Later, upon greeting Bertie, a sullen Bingo divulges that he has had to take a tutoring job at Twing since his uncle cut off his allowance following "that Goodwood binge" (the events of which are documented in "Comrade Bingo"). He had been sad because Charlotte Corday Rowbotham had left him for Comrade Butt; however, he now loves Cynthia, as Bertie guessed, and departs to write poetry for her.

The Sermon Handicap

The next morning, Bingo awakens Bertie by reading some of the poem he wrote. Just as Bertie induces him to stop and has his morning tea, his cousins Claude and Eustace burst in to tell him about their plan. Their reading-party of nine people includes one Rupert Steggles, "rather a worm", but who nevertheless devised a scheme to entertain the group throughout their otherwise boring stay in Twing: a Great Sermon Handicap. Steggles is to make a book, set handicaps and odds, and take bets on the verbosity and consistency of each of the many nearby preachers. On Sunday the 23rd, each is to be clocked, the winner being the one who preaches the longest sermon. The back of the letter, Eustace explains, was a list of handicaps and current odds, as prepared by Steggles.

The twins offer to let Jeeves participate, but he declines; Bertie, meanwhile, upon considering the odds and handicaps, observes that the competition is "a sitter" for Heppenstall, who has been given an eight-minute handicap, though Bertie knows his sermons are famously long. Claude explains that on the day he and Steggles visited the Twing church to assign handicaps, Heppenstall dropped several pages of his sermon, leaving Steggles the impression that he averaged about twenty minutes, where, in reality, thirty to thirty-five is his true form.

Bertie likes the idea, and agrees to consider entering a bet, while Bingo expresses certainty that he will soon be married to Cynthia. The next morning, Bertie instructs Eustace to put a tenner on Heppenstall, which he does at seven to one, and just in time, as Steggles observes him give a 36-minute sermon that Sunday and shortens the odds to fifteen to eight.

On Tuesday afternoon, Claude and Eustace hurry to apprise Bertie of a "dark horse" competitor: G. Hayward of Lower Bingley, who surprised them with a twenty-six minute address at a village wedding, which is presumably much shorter than he would be accustomed to give on a Sunday. They want to hedge on him, but instead, Bertie proposes that they ensure Heppenstall's victory by encouraging him to preach his sermon on Brotherly Love, which runs forty-five to fifty minutes. Claude and Eustace like the idea, and Bertie proposes it to Heppenstall, affecting true interest in the topic and insisting that he not cut any parts out. Heppenstall is thrilled at Bertie's interest and gladly accedes to the request.

Eustace telephones Bertie on Saturday morning with the catastrophic news that Heppenstall is ill with hay-fever and will be scratched from the competition; furthermore, Steggles has heard about G. Hayward's potential, and his odds are considerably shortened. As Rev. Joseph Tucker, a middle-to-long-winded speaker, seems to be their last chance, they make no further bets.

Competition and aftermath

On the morning of the competition, Bertie goes to watch G. Hayward's sermon at Lower Bingley; Hayward preaches for thirty-five minutes and fourteen seconds, and Bertie returns to Twing for lunch. Bingo reports that, with all the times in but Gandle-by-the-Hill, G. Hayward is presumed the winner, and Jeeves will no doubt lose the tenner he bet on Bates, the vicar at Gandle. Bertie, having thought Jeeves was not interested, is surprised to hear he decided to participate after all.

Jeeves arrives presently with a note from Heppenstall which Bertie had left too early that morning to receive. In the note, Heppenstall requests that Bertie attend church at Gandle-by-the-Hill, where he has requested that Rev. Bates preach the sermon on Brotherly Love, lest Bertie be disappointed. Also, Bates is under scrutiny for the headmastership of a private school and must impress the school's trustees with a long and thoughtful sermon.

When Bates's time arrives, it turns out that he has indeed won, as has Jeeves. Bingo angrily accuses Jeeves of having had inside information, which he readily admits, being a friend of Heppenstall's butler, to whom the note was dictated; also, Bingo thinks that preaching another man's sermon ought not to be permitted. Jeeves defends Bates, saying that the headmastership was very important to him and his fiancée, Cynthia Wickhammersley.

The story concludes as Bingo turns a light green and exits embarrassedly to take a walk. Its events continue into "The Purity of the Turf".

External links

* [http://wodehouse.ru/31.htm Overview of "The Inimitable Jeeves"] and the stories contained in it


Wikimedia Foundation. 2010.

Игры ⚽ Поможем сделать НИР

Look at other dictionaries:

  • The Inimitable Jeeves — Infobox Book name = The Inimitable Jeeves title orig = translator = image caption = Dust jacket from the first edition author = P. G. Wodehouse illustrator = cover artist = country = United Kingdom language = English series = genre = Short… …   Wikipedia

  • Blacks and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — From the end of the nineteenth century until 1978, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints did not allow black men of African descent to be ordained to the priesthood or allow black men or women of African descent to participate in temple …   Wikipedia

  • Black people and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — This article is about Blacks and the modern LDS church. For Blacks and the early Mormon movement, see Black people and the Latter Day Saint movement. From 1849 to 1978, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (LDS Church) had a policy… …   Wikipedia

  • List of The Chaser's War on Everything episodes — Contents 1 Series 1 (2006) 2 Series 2 (2007) 3 Series 3 (2009) 4 See also The following is a list of episodes of the Australian satirical televisio …   Wikipedia

  • List of short stories by P. G. Wodehouse — The following is an incomplete list of short stories by P. G. Wodehouse grouped by the Wodehouse canon to which they belong, if applicable, within which they are listed by date of first publication. For a list of Wodehouse s books, including… …   Wikipedia

  • P. G. Wodehouse short stories bibliography — The following is an incomplete list of short stories by P. G. Wodehouse grouped by the Wodehouse canon to which they belong, if applicable, within which they are listed by date of first publication. For a list of Wodehouse s books, including… …   Wikipedia

  • Дживс и Вустер — Это статья о цикле романов и рассказов П. Г. Вудхауза. См. также статью об экранизации цикла Дживс и Вустер (телесериал). Хью Лори (слева) в роли Вустера и Стивен Фрай (справа) в роли Дживса в телесериале «Дживс и Вустер» по мотивам… …   Википедия

  • Дживс и Вустер (серия романов) — Это статья о цикле романов и рассказов П. Г. Вудхауза. См. также статью об экранизации цикла Дживс и Вустер (телесериал). Хью Лори (слева) в роли Вустера и Стивен Фрай (справа) в роли Дживса в известном телесериале «Дживс и Вустер» по мотивам… …   Википедия

  • Jeeves — Infobox character colour = #DDD name = Jeeves caption = Jeeves, as portrayed in 1990 by Stephen Fry in Jeeves and Wooster . first = 1915, in the story Extricating Young Gussie last = 1974, in the novel Aunts Aren t Gentlemen cause = nickname =… …   Wikipedia

  • List of Jeeves characters — Lists of P. G. Wodehouse characters Characters in all Wodehouse stories Characters in the Blandings stories Characters in the Drones Club stories Characters in the Jeeves stories Characters in the Mulliner stories Characters in the Ukridge… …   Wikipedia

Share the article and excerpts

Direct link
Do a right-click on the link above
and select “Copy Link”