- Terry Fuckwitt
Terry Fuckwitt is a character in the British comic "Viz".
He is understatedly captioned as "the unintelligent
cartoon character". He is a brainless, notionless, mindlessimbecile who mistakes gas bills for exam results and his neighbour for his mother. Terry looks the part as well: he is cross-eyed and has wild black hair sticking up ludicriously from his misshapen head in a style which appears to bedreadlocks . (No religious or ethnic subtext should be inferred.) He also wears platform shoes, for no discernible reason. He is quite foul-mouthed and when he realises that he has just done something stupid he will declare "Fuck me, I've got shit for brains, me." His frequent appraisals of his lack of intelligence are Terry's only correct statements.He lives in
suburban ignorance with his family, none of whom have any great characteristics of their own: every story revolves around the ludicrous situations, scrapes and decisions involving the eponymous protagonist and the way those involved deal with him, usually in comedically violent slapstick. Terry's parents are always annoyed at their son's stupidity and often make unsuccessful attempts to get rid of him, such as by shoving him in a sack and throwing him into a river (which failed nonetheless.).One strip shows Terry's frustrated father kicking him in thegroin , even after when he knew what he was supposed to do. His father's violent contempt for him continues: when Terry somehow shrinks himself, he stomps him to death. A more recent strip shows Terry having a vase smashed on his head.Terry is unable to make a sensible decision. When he was once asked by
God to carry out a small favour in return fortonnes ofgold and a place in heaven, and at the same time asked bySatan if he wanted to sell his soul for "a dried up piece of dog shit instead", Terry spent a few moments scratching his head before opting for the latter choice. Only after being tortured for four hundred billion years by demons inHell did Terry conclude that he might have been better off making the other choice. Another strip featured him being asked if he murdered a person, in which he proudly declares "Yes!" (and regrets his mistake 10 years later).The most stupid thing Terry ever did was to forget to turn up for his own comic strip. He appeared in the last frame asking if he was too late.
A majority of the humour derives from outrageous and surreal misunderstandings. For example, at a day at the beach, Terry is told by his dad to go and find a suitable area for
sunbathing . In the next frame, we see Terry standing near a small sandy hill and telling his father that he has found one. Terry's dad congratulates him on finding an isolated spot, but then points out the slight flaw in Terry's plan, namely that his proposed sunbathing spot is not on the beach but instead on the planet Pluto. Often the first frame of every Terry Fuckwitt cartoon would have Terry cheerily greeting the readers saying he is off doing some activity (e.g.: milking, only that the second frame will pan out showing that he is totally in the wrong place. For example, Terry is getting married (despite being a small boy), but it is revealed that he is not in a church, but in a nuclear power plant, and that his bride is a rod ofuranium . Terry once went camping, to be chastised by a farmer who "owned" the land, who was in turn chastised by a shop manager. Walking away, the farmer calling himself a "fuckwit", realises his mistake – it is his land! The next panel features Terry's dad angrily storming out the back door of his house.The strip, like many others in the comic, often derives a lot of its humour from topical events. In early 2005, Terry was entered into the "Biggest Fuckwitt in the Country" contest after volunteering to be repeatedly hit in the crotch with a cricket bat and kicked in the head with a diving shoe non-stop for an hour. He only managed second place however, being beaten by Prince Harry's wearing of a Nazi uniform.
Due to the dubious surname of the character, the comic never puts it entirely on the front page, even though they habitually advertise each featured character thereon per issue. However, in the January 2007 issue, his name, via '
spoonerism ', is changed to 'Ferry Tuckwitt' on the front page to work their way around the swearing (using the same effect with 'Boilt Spastard' forSpoilt Bastard ); ironically, Terry did not actually appear in the issue.
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