The Label Maker

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Label Maker
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = Jerry examines a re-gifted label maker.
Season = 6
Episode = 98
Airdate = January 19, 1995
Production =
Writer = Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Director = Andy Ackerman
Guests = Jessica Tuck
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 6 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Label Maker" is the 98th episode of NBC sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 12th episode for the 6th season. It aired on January 19, 1995.

Plot

Jerry has two tickets to the Super Bowl (on Sunday) but he cannot attend due to "the Drake's" wedding ("The Handicap Spot"). Jerry gives the tickets to Dr. Tim Whatley ("The Mom & Pop Store").
George has a new girlfriend, Bonnie, and he is eager to go to her apartment.
Elaine and Jerry suspect that Whatley is a "re-gifter" after Jerry receives the same label maker that Elaine gave Tim for Christmas.
Kramer and Newman play an extended game of Risk. They leave the board in neutral country ("like Switzerland") at Jerry's apartment.

George likes Bonnie's apartment, including a velvet couch.However, George immediately becomes upset because Bonnie has a male roommate named Scott who looks just like him.Kramer informs that the Drake's wedding has been postponed because of the Super Bowl.George suggests Jerry to "de-gift" Tim Whatley the tickets.Newman stops by Jerry's apartment and tells him he will go to the Super Bowl with one of Whatley's tickets.

George inquires Bonnie regarding her behavior with Scott.Elaine dates Whatley in order to find out whether or not he really re-gifted her label maker; she wants to get in his apartment.Tim Whatley takes away Newman's ticket and gives it to Elaine.Jerry and George suspect that, due to Elaine's behavior, Whatley invited her purely with the intent of "going downtown".

George tries to wheedle Bonnie into getting Scott to move out, and is surprised when he succeeds, realizing with dismay that he is now the most responsible man in her life.Newman and Cosmo Kramer continue their game in Jerry's apartment.Kramer's car is being taken away; he rushes outside holding the game board. Upon learning that Elaine does not intend to have sex with him on the Super Bowl trip, Whatley breaks up with Elaine and gives her ticket back to Jerry.Taking Jerry's label maker to help Bonnie box up Scott's things, George discovers that all the things he liked about Bonnie's apartment, including the velvet couch and the television, belonged to Scott.

Taking their game to the subway, Kramer is confident in his victory over Newman, taunting him for having possession over the "weak" nation of the Ukraine.A nearby Ukrainian passenger gets offended and smashes their board.

Elaine uncovers Whatley's regifting secret: he regifted the label maker because it was defective: the label adhesive wasn't strong enough.However, Elaine and Whatley still fall madly in love with each other.The labels on Scott's boxes peel off on the mail truck.

At the Super Bowl, Jerry finds himself sitting next to Newman instead of Whatley.Newman mentions that some boxes without labels were rendered undeliverable and claimed by them ("Freebies").Desperate to escape his relationship with Bonnie, George brings up the offensive thought of a Ménage à trois ("The Switch"), but at the same time Scott arrives, who is willing to participate in such an arrangement.

Quotes

Kramer: We have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper with it.
Jerry: So that's here?
Kramer: Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland.
Jerry (sounding like a child): I don't wanna be Switzerland. (Referencing to The Puffy Shirt and the Mom and Pop Store)

George: ("after Jerry learns that the Drake's wedding has been postponed, and he can use the Super Bowl tickets he had just given Whatley") So ask for the tickets back. He's gotta offer you some kinda grace period.
Jerry: ("incredulous") Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving?

George: If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet.

Elaine: Who takes their mailman to the Super Bowl?
Jerry: Who takes Newman anywhere?

Trivia

* Julia Louis-Dreyfus had a cold the week this episode was filmed, and her stuffy nose can be detected in several of her lines. After the scene where Elaine kisses Tim Whatley, Julia passed her cold onto Bryan Cranston, who was sick for the rest of the week.
* During the opening scene, George suddenly sneezes after Jerry says "I blamed it on you." The sneeze was a totally unscripted and spontaneous moment from Jason Alexander, but the crew thought it fit the scene well and kept it in.
* A week later, during the broadcast for Super Bowl XXIX, Jason Alexander starred in a Super Bowl commercial for Rold Gold pretzels.