Archer's Goon

Infobox Book
name = Archer's Goon
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image_caption = Cover from American edition
author = Diana Wynne Jones
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country = Great Britain
language = English
series =
subject =
genre = Children's Fantasy novel
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release_date = 1984
english_release_date =
media_type = Print
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"Archer's Goon" is a 1984 fantasy novel by Diana Wynne Jones both for the young adult and adult markets. It was nominated for the 1985 World Fantasy Award for Best Novel and is listed as a ALA Notable Children's Book, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults, and a Boston Globe–Horn Book Award Honor Book.

Plot summary

Thirteen year old Howard Sykes lives in an English town with his parents, Quentin (an author and professor) and Catriona (a music teacher), his sister Anthea (always called, with good reason, "Awful"), and Fifi, the family's "au pair". Their life is interrupted one afternoon when an unnamed huge person, "somebody's Goon" as Fifi describes him, comes into their home, and announces that he has come to collect the two thousand Quentin owes Archer.

Quentin denies owing two thousand, but it seems it isn't money, but words. By long arrangement, he is to write two thousand words of nonsense quarterly and give them to Mountjoy, a town official. The Goon says that they didn't get to Archer. Quentin irritably writes a replacement set and gives them to the Goon, who goes away--but the next afternoon is back, as they were a repeat of what was done before, and that isn't allowed.

The Goon takes Howard to see Mountjoy. Under pressure (literally), Mountjoy says that the town is secretly run by seven wizard siblings: Archer, Shine, Dillian, Hathaway, Torquil, Erskine, and Venturus. Mountjoy had instructions from an unknown superior to post the words, but doesn't know what happens to them after they reach the post office box.

Fifi, Howard, and Awful try to retrieve the words that Quentin had written, but it seems they have fallen into the hands of Dillian (who farms law and order) and they are tricked out of them.

Quentin refuses to write the replacement, and the Goon arranges for the family (other than Catriona) to meet Archer. Archer, who "farms" (or takes money from) the town's banking, gas, and electricity industry (each of the siblings farms some aspects of the town's life and industry, as well as sharing the taxes), has a huge establishment hidden behind the bank. His family are stuck here in this town because, as Archer believes, Quentin's words are restricting them. Archer admits the words weren't being sent to him at all, he implied they were in an attempt to acquire a sample of them so he can figure out how the words restrict his family and, he hopes, lift the restrictions. Just for himself, sibling love is in short supply in this family. After learning that Archer plans to take over the world, Quentin thinks that the restrictions are a good thing, and defies Archer. Out of frustration, Archer uses teleportation to send the Sykes family back to the various places they are supposed to be, and Howard curses his ill-luck: he's back at school in time for orchestra practice, which his mother, who has a roving brief for school orchestras, is supposed to be attending.

Sure enough, Catriona is there. But she's just getting down to business with the school orchestra when a huge procession appears, led by Torquil, who farms music and therefore is Catriona's effective boss. He threatens Catriona with the loss of her job if she doesn't get Quentin to write Torquil two thousand words. Catriona orders Quentin to write two thousand words for Torquil, and another two thousand for Archer, but a massive argument is the only result.

Meanwhile, Archer's family starts putting pressure on. Gas and electricity is cut off, and the shops (Torquil) are closed to them. Their bank accounts are frozen, anyway. Catriona's musical instruments go full blast, as does the radio. And when Hathaway (roads and transport, archives and records), who claims to have been the original recipient of the words, is defied (Quentin gives Hathaway's messenger his typewriter, all chained up), the street outside is dug up over and over.

Archer comes by, and stops his action against the Sykes. He leaves a typewriter tricked up like Archer believes Quentin's old one was, and takes Fifi on a date, much to the Goon's dismay, as he is falling for her too.

Howard and Awful try to do something about the situation by finding Hathaway. Instead, they fall into the hands of Shine (crime) and are eventually rescued by the Goon. When Quentin receives a letter from the town demanding payment of a huge amount in back taxes (it seems the deal was that Mountjoy would see to it Quentin was never billed), the children look for Hathaway again, this time finding him through a door in the town museum that brings them four hundred years into the past. Hathaway, who lives in an Elizabethan household, proves to be very reasonable, stops what he was doing against the Sykes, and promises to help about the taxes. But he also tells Howard that the boy is adopted, causing the world to shake under his feet.

Fifi comes back to announce she's marrying Archer, causing the Goon to destroy the television in a fit of rage and despair. As recompense, Quentin demands the Goon take him to see Erskine, arguing that with Hathaway eliminated, Erskine is now the most likely candidate. The Goon reluctantly agrees.

The next morning, the Goon takes Quentin and the two children by bus across town, then through the sewers to the sewage installation. It would have been only a short walk above ground, and when the Goon is asked why he took them through the sewers, he says he can only leave the town through the sewer or by rubbish truck. In other words, the Goon is Erskine. Enraged, Erskine has the three locked up. They manage to escape, with the help of Ginger Hind (who now sees that Shine is not someone to be worshipped) and Howard gets Erskine and his minions to chase him, rather than his sister and father. He calls on Erskine's siblings for help, and each time is answered - Howard summons a bus by calling on Hathaway; calls to Archer for money for the fare and finds a pound in his pocket and gets Erskine's garbage vans pulled over by the police by calling on Dillian. He is finally able to evade Erskine and make it home. Now, he must find Venturus, who lives in the future. Howard cleverly finds Venturus's lair by going to a half constructed building.

As Howard goes inside, he becomes older. Erskine, now calmed down, joins him for a discussion and Howard realizes that he himself is Venturus. Venturus twice, to get himself out of sticky situations, has sent the whole town back thirteen years through time, transforming himself into a small child in the process. Venturus did indeed set everything up, as Howard now remembers, his memories as Venturus reviving. Quentin's words had no power, it was all Venturus. The six siblings could not leave the town not because of the words, but because the seven's parents laid it on them to protect Venturus, and as long as Venturus was too young to realize his powers, they had to be close by to protect him.

The two go back to deal with Archer's rage, Torquil has kidnapped Fifi, as an attempt to stop Archer from going out and farming the world. It seems Torquil has no ambitions to do that himself and has been trying to stop the others for years. Torquil, Hathaway, Erskine, and Venturus evolve a plan to send the other three (and Fifi) off in Venturus's newly-constructed spaceship. They do this by getting Quentin to use his new typewriter (the words lack power, the typewriter does not) and write that they each get aboard the spaceship, which Howard has set to be unable to return to earth. First, though, they get Archer to pay Quentin the money for the taxes as a reward for "finding" Fifi (£35,000 which Venturus repays Archer with a "gold bullion" stored aboard the ship).

Not without some trouble, the four are duly brought aboard and sent off on the ship. The remaining siblings have no plans to rule the world - but Howard, now Venturus, still worries about what Erskine and Awful may get up to in the future.

The siblings and their domains

*Archer: Money, power (electricity and gas).

*Shine: Crime, industry.

*Dillian: Law and order, fire brigade (with Erskine)

*Hathaway: Roads and transport, records and archives

*Torquil: Music, sport, shops. Religion (never stated, but clear from context).

*Erskine: Water and drains, fire brigade (with Dillian). Garbage (never stated, but clear from context).

*Venturus: Housing, education.

All seven farm the taxes.

Television adaptation

In 1992, the book was adapted as a six-part TV series by the BBC. [http://www.leemac.freeserve.co.uk/goontv.htm] Of the experience, Diana Wynne Jones says:

I was quite closely involved, actually, because the producer, (Richard Callanan) was a very nice man and he wanted to get it as close to the book as possible. Both of us had to sit around the table and persuade the scriptwriter (Jenny McDade) to make it close to the book. When she started it couldn’t have been further from the book. It got closer and closer and closer and they got most of it in. They couldn’t get some of the stuff at the end in but they did a fairly good job - I think the scriptwriter actually didn’t enjoy herself at all. They asked me whether I’d like to write scripts but, so far, I haven’t found it appeals. It’s a very different way of thinking, of telling a story. I was talking to somebody who is, primarily, a scriptwriter but who’d also published his scripts as novels and he says he has to write the script first and then the novel from the script. I would have to do it the other way around, I think. [ [http://www.leemac.freeserve.co.uk/interview.htm Interview with Diana Wynne Jones by Meredith MacArdle] ]

Footnotes