- Marriage in Hinduism
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Practices
A Hindu marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma (duty), artha (possessions), kama (physical desires), and moksa (ultimate spiritual release) together. It also joins two families together. The colours are normally red and gold.
Contents
Arranging the marriage
Traditionally, Hindu parents look for a prospective match for their son/daughter from their own community also known as arranged marriage. Elders in the family and parents seek the prospective match through word of mouth within the community. The use of jathakam or Janam Kundali (astrological chart at the time of birth) of the son/daughter to match with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from the brahman called 'Jothidar' in Tamil or 'panthulu or siddanthi ' in [[Telugu language|Telugu] and Kundali Milaan in North India ] who has details of many people looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists.
Jatakam or Kundali is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is 18. Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonial relationship. If the astrological chart of the two individuals (male and female) achieve the required threshold in points then further talks are considered for prospective marriage. Also the man and woman are given chance to talk and understand each other. Once there is an agreement then an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place.
Eight types of marriage
Hindu Symbolic Marriage-Eloping couple exchange garlands under a tree. Illustration from Sougandhika Parinaya
According to Hinduism there are eight different types of Hindu marriages. Among the eight types not all had religious sanction. The last four were not religiously defined and were condemned. These are: Brahma marriage, Daiva marriage, Arsha marriage, Prajapatya marriage, Gandharva marriage, Asura marriage, Rakshasa marriage and Paishacha marriage.
The wedding
Main article: Hindu weddingWedding ceremonies can be expensive, and costs are typically borne by the parents. It is not uncommon for middle-or upper-class weddings to have a guest list of over 500 people. A live instrumental band is played in some parts where as some marriages have bharat is (the bridegroom's family) dancing to music just before coming to the wedding venue. Vedic rituals are performed and the family and friends then bless the couple. Food is served to all the invitees with lots of delicacies. The wedding celebrations can take up to one week depending on the practice in that different part of India.
Types of Hindu marriage and rituals
Historically the so called vedic marriage was but one of the few different types of Hindu marriage customs. Love marriage was also seen in historical Hindu literature and has been variously described in many names: e.g. Gandharva vivaha etc. In certain poor vaishnav communities still there is a custom called kanthi-badal which is exchange of bead-garlands as a very simplified form of ritual in solitude in front of an idol of Krishna, considered a form of acceptable love marriage.
Elopement has also been described in old Hindu literature. Lord Krishna himself Eloped Rukmini on horse chariot. It is written that Rukmini's father was going to marry her to Shishupal, against her wishes. Rukimini sent a letter to Krishna informing of a place and time to pick her up.
Symbolic rituals worn by married Hindu women
The married Hindu women in different parts of India follow different customs. Mostly Sindoor, Mangalsutra and Bangles are considered as signs of a married woman. In some places, in especially Eastern India, instead of Mangalsutra they put only vermilion on the hair parting, wear a pair of conch bangles (shankha), red bangles (pala) and an iron bangle on the left hand (loha) while their husband is alive. In South India, a married woman is required to wear a necklace with a distinctive pendant called a thali and silver toe-rings. Both are put on her by the husband during the wedding ceremony. The pendant on the thali is custom-made and its design is different from family to family. Apart from this, the married woman also wears a red vermilion (Sindoor) dot on her forehead called Kumkum and (whenever possible) flowers in her hair and coloured glass Bangles. The married woman is encouraged to give up all of these when her husband dies (although some choose not to). In the Kashmiri tradition, women wear a small gold chain (with a small gold hexagonal bead hanging from the chain) through their upper ear which is a sign of being married. The married woman in Kumaon Uttarakhand wear a yellow cloth called pichoda.
Modernity
Many people believe that arranged marriage is the traditional form of marriage in India and that love marriage is a modern form that a few couples opt for, usually in urban areas. Love marriage differs from an "arranged marriage" in that the couple, rather than the parents, choose their own partner. However, there are various instances from ancient scriptures of Hinduism, of romantic love marriages that were accepted in ancient times, for example dushyanta and shakuntala in the story of the mahabharata who undergo a love marriage. Somewhere in the course of time, arranged marriages became predominant and love marriages became unacceptable. Despite some love marriages, the vast majority of Indians continue to have arranged marriages.
Inter caste marriage
Nowadays, youth doing Inter caste Marriage.
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